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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY...
missionaccomp.jpg
... ya assholes.

End this. Now.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

DAYS OFF
In case you haven't noticed, I've decided to take some time off. I've decided to tend to weightier matters for a while. I'm tired of toiling in the inconsequential world of foreign policy, diplomacy, politics and warfare. No, it's time to pay heed to something that truly matters in this world: College Basketball.



Because I'm tired of assholes who can't play nice together.

I'll be back in time for the primaries. Keep fighting the power y'all.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

WHAT A FREAKIN' TURKEY
(Bramhall, Daily News)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. Enjoy your humble pie George.

THINK HE GOT LEIED?
Um, ewwww. This is going to make it really difficult to keep the pumpkin pie down on Thursday. Really, really difficult.

Photo Must've thought it was Merkel.

Man, that is so wrong... on so many levels. Gotta go rinse off now.

Monday, November 20, 2006

BUT, BUT, WAIT...
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

But, but, wait... didn't all you Republicans poo-poo as utter nonsense the idea that your cozy relationships with Big Oil had everything to do with gas prices magically lowering just before the elections? Why then, all of a sudden, are prices on the rise again?

'Maybe no one will remember this...'

But, but, wait John... didn't you say just a few years back that the Jerry Falwells of the world are 'agents of intolerance'. So then why are you hiring his people now? And hey, didn't you also say something about offing yourself if the Dems won the election? Seriously, why are you still on this mortal coil? Mr. Straight Talk my ass.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting 'Yes, but it's your fault for believing me...'

But, but wait Unca Dick... didn't you say that the escalating violence in Iraq these last few months was simply a result of the terrorists trying to influence our elections? Since those elections are over, how come the violence has continued to rage? How come 75 bodies were found over the last 24 hours in Baghdad? How come 112 people were killed there yesterday? How come we're seeing mass kidnappings? Huh Unca Dick, what's that all about?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Over the weekend, a morgue worker tends to body bags is Baquba, Iraq, in the province of Diyala, east of Baghdad. In April there were four civilian homicides a day, and now there are ten a day.

But, but wait, Georgie... didn't you say...

Photo 'Then they made me put on a dress!'

Oh, who cares what you say. Are you still talking? Seriously, just StFU already.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

ME THINKS 'THUMPING' WAS A EUPHEMISM
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting You've got something on your face.

Preznit McLoser just can't catch a break, can he? It was a rough week, to say the least. I almost feel bad... but then I remember I pretty much hate the guy. And then I laugh. The electorate smashed him at the polls, his critics repeatedly battered him, even his own party managed to pop him a few times. These beatings, of course, are only figurative. This one, however, was not:

President Bush's wax likeness is taking a thumpin' these days at Madame Tussaud's celebrity waxworks in Las Vegas. Bush's head suffered about $25,000 in damages when a Madame Tussaud's visitor attacked it."This was the most damage" to one of the wax figures, Jack Taylor, spokesman for the museum, said. "People are always touching them, but this was pretty rare."
Who ever said Bush couldn't accomplish anything? He's got the title for 'Most Beat Down Wax Figure in History' yo! So shut up, ya mofos.

And it gets worse. The official Democratic Senate Proctologist, Henry Waxman, is stretching on the rubber gloves and getting ready for an extremely thorough probing. Only problem? There's so much shit, he doesn't even know where to begin. Meanwhile, W's former Neocronies are trying to slink out the back door, throwing daggers at his back as they do. Still others are twisting the knife in over the timing of the Rumsfeld firing.

And then there are the polls. The latest numbers on King Decider's popularity create cause for a revival of our efforts to inform the Preznit in a simple, easy-to-understand manner of just how unpopular he is. Hey Loser, take a look...

From way downtown. Bang.

Got it? And no, that doesn't mean it's Miller Time. Seriously sir, lay off the sauce.

Lastly, since we're on the subject of polls, everyone catch this one?
An MSNBC online poll shows that the overwhelming majority of its participating voters believe President Bush should be impeached. The poll asked the question, "Do you believe President Bush's actions justify impeachment?" Of nearly 360,000 people who had voted, 87 percent responded "Yes." (thx D-Ren)
Oh snap. I know it's unscientific and all, but goddam that's unpopular. Loser.

(thx Ash!)

MORE
Worker #3116: We Did It!
Our Manifesto: Right Was Right
The Prez is my Friend: Crrrrrap!
Morford: Eleven New and Happy Things
Colbert: Special Memories of a Special Majority
MediaNeedle: Journey to the Bottom of the Polls

Monday, November 13, 2006

AHHHH, MEMORIES
Laughing at the exiting Republicans never seems to get old, does it?



Nope, sure doesn't.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

STAND DOWN SIR
My goodness...
GOP officials: Rumsfeld stepping down

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, architect of an unpopular war in Iraq, intends to resign after six stormy years at the Pentagon, Republican officials said Wednesday. Officials said Robert Gates, former head of the CIA, would replace Rumsfeld.

The development occurred one day after congressional elections that cost Republicans control of the House of Representatives, and possibly the Senate as well. Surveys of voters at polling places said opposition to the war was a significant contributor to the Democratic Party's victory.
Good riddance, ya crazy old fucker. Better get your suit ready for the Hague.

Rumsfeld's free-speaking verse

'As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say, we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know.' -- D. Rumsfeld, February '02

Hey, you know what I know? You're toast pal. Don't let the door hit you in the ass.

WHAT'S UP, YA BIG LOSER?
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting 'Hey, where'd my mandate go?'

Don't worry Preznit Asshat...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

... he's still around. And he has a lot more free time on his hands now.

Hells yeah, bitchez. This feels sooooo much better than '04. You're on an island now, ya big loser. Just you, your vapid wife, crazy Unca Dick, and your little dog too. Have fun with all that.

sadbush2.jpg

'I'm told this has never happened before in the modern history of American politics. Spin that, President Shrub.' -- Billmon

ELECTION GOODNESS
FDL:
Meet the Losers
The General:
Little Green Throbbing Veins
SadlyNo: As they listen for an echo, I only hear a roar
NYO:
The No-Win Zone (A gloomy night for FOX News)

HUGE NEWS!!
America has spoken. The people have expressed a strong desire to rid itself of shoddy, no-talent performers and lazy, do-nothing slobs. Yes, the constituents have spoken, and the will of the people is finally being served. It is with great excitement that I'm able to report the following:
Britney Spears divorcing Kevin Federline
Hallelujah and Amen. Maybe now, America can finally get back on track.

Oh, and the Dems have recaptured the House. That's good news too.



Congratulations. Now get to work... you've got lots to do.

Monday, November 06, 2006

CAN'T WAIT FOR ELECTION DAY
He has reason to sweat.

It would be completely understandable for someone to be a bit jaded about the U.S. election system. What some have tried to claim as our ‘greatest export’ has been nothing short of a shambles in recent efforts, from hanging chads in Florida to midnight lines and voter suppression in Ohio. On top of that, there's been an unbelievable stench of corruption and incompetence, even by political standards, rising from the swamp that is our nation's capital these past 6+ years. It’s easy to understand skepticism, hesitancy or disinterest amongst the voting public.

But for me, watching the Rethugs flail about in panic these last few weeks has been great fun. The desperate last gasps and hail marys of this den of thieves has been truly inspiring. They've got nothing, and it shows. They tried to roll out gay marriage again, but to no avail. This weekend’s outing of supreme evangelical mobilizer Pastor Ted as a closeted meth fiend exposed the GOP base as a lost flock led by immoral hypocrites. Not the greatest of motivators. They also attempted to use their favorite liberal punching bag, John Kerry, and his ‘botched joke’ as motivation, but last I checked Kerry wasn’t on the ballot. Keith Olbermann offers up the definitive response to that malarkey right here.

Shameless. Republican. (h/t D-Ren)

And of course, they’ve used their favorite tactic of painting Democrats as weak, Osama-loving terrorist sympathizers who will hand-deliver a dirty bomb to each and every one of our living rooms if we let them win. But even that doesn’t seem to be working. Finally, it appears the citizenry has sniffed out the bullshit these guys have been serving for so long. We’ll find out for sure tomorrow.

It’s time for these guys to go. This is why I can’t wait for Election Day.

Bush was out on the stump all last week, to the chagrin of most of the candidates he went to support I might add, making the audacious claim that if the Democrats prevail, the terrorists win and America loses. Then, not a day later, he had the temerity to say he doesn't like the divisive tone in Washington these days. This from a guy, and a party, that has put some of the most despicable, divisive, incendiary rhetoric onto the airwaves the last few days that we've seen since, since... well, the last time they went out campaigning.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Republicans make babies cry.

This from a party who is home to candidates who slap wheelchair-bound opponents afflicted with MS. Home to candidates who physically abuse dissenters. Home to people who have so little shame, they’re willing to cart out their wives to slam both Michael J. Fox and a disabled Iraq war vet. Home to a party that thinks Iraq is only important to ‘liberal media types.’ A party more interested in protecting its grip on power then protecting children from sexual predators within its own ranks.

This is why I can’t wait for Election Day.

This ruling party is nothing but a den of corrupt, hypocritical, power-mad, oil-guzzling, money-hungry, paranoid, apocalyptic, fear-mongering liars, thieves and perverts. In short, the 109th Congress, by far, is the Worst Congress Ever, guilty of each and every one of the 7 Deadly Sins. It needs to be purged now. There are 109 reasons. At least.

1012 Photo

For years now this Congress has sat by in silence, allowing the administration to shape a false reality. To say missions were accomplished when they had hardly even begun. To repeatedly and baselessly cart out unsubstantiated rhetoric (‘last throes’, ‘dead enders’, etc.) painting a false picture of progress. To claim so many ‘turned corners’ that they’ve spun us all into an endless, vicious, circle of violence and bullshit. And lately, to try and push the idea that the violence in Iraq exists simply because the terrorists are trying to influence our elections, as though it hadn't already gone to hell in a hand-basket long ago.

This is why I can’t wait for Election Day.

Instead of a plan or a strategy or even a recognition that things aren’t working, the Bushies have just forged ahead with their flawed ideology. And Congress has let it happen. Their incompetence is astounding. As Andrew Sullivan said last week, ‘if you liked Katrina, you’re loving Iraq.’ As many as 655,000 have been killed in this pointless endeavor. More than 300,000 have been displaced. That's a pretty big freaking 'comma' right there.

More than 3,000 US soldiers have been killed, surpassing the number of fatalities in the very tragedy these bastards so cynically exploited to get their war on in the first place. And let’s not forget the several thousand wounded, many who are permanently disabled, that never seem to be reported or discussed. And then there are the emotionally scarred for life crowd, numbering surely in the upper thousands. This female soldier falls into both the ‘psychologically wounded’ and ‘mortally wounded’ categories. She killed herself after her objections to US interrogation techniques were summarily ignored by her superiors. The government tried to cover that fact up.



This is why I can’t wait for Election Day.

Oh, and in case there are some members of our cash-crazy Congress in the audience, let me speak in terms that may actually mean something to you: This war, the one that was supposed to pay for itself, could cost us upwards of $2 trillion. For you, I’m sure that figure resonates more than any in the previous paragraph. That's money that you could spend on hookers, and golf junkets, and limosuines.

As big a failure as the Iraqi misadventure has been, these bastards don’t plan on changing a thing. The military reports that Iraq is on the brink of chaos? No matter, we’ve got benchmarks! The military calls for the head of Donald Rumsfeld? Bush scoffs, plans to do nothing of the sort. And Cheney? It’s ‘full-speed ahead’ for Deadeye Dick, damn what the people want, and damn the torpedoes. We should all be very frightened that Cheney plans to be armed on Election Day. We should all wear bright orange.

'Grrrrrrrr! Arghhhhh… ter’ists! Garrrg!'

And how about that GOP-led Congress? Can we maybe count on them to grow a pair these last two years if they remain in power? Here’s House leader John Boehner on the Rummy question last week:
BOEHNER: Let's not blame what's happening in Iraq on Rumsfeld.
WOLF BLITZER: But he's in charge of the military.
BOEHNER:
But the fact is, the generals on the ground are in charge.
So, ummmm, no hope there then. Great.

God. I can’t wait for Election Day.

I’ll let Eddie take it from here… (listen)
the world has come undone
like to change it everyday
change don't come at once
it's a wave building before it breaks

can't wait for election day
witness the occupation
corporations rule the day
well you know the pendulum throws
farther out to the one side, swinging
has to sweep back the other way

the world has come undone
another day and who can wait
change don't come at once
it's a wave building before it breaks

all this hope and nowhere to go

this is how i used to feel, but no more

the world has come undone
like a game that few can play
change don't come from one
it's a wave building before it breaks.
Please vote tomorrow. Be part of this wave. We must change things. Now.

MORE
Ga10: Protect Your Vote
C&L: Olbermann's Comment
C&L: Clinton Stumps for Webb
Rove's last stand? Annoying Robocalls
Simpsons: The Day the Earth Looked Stupid

Sunday, November 05, 2006

YEP, THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP
Just about everything you need to know, in one convenient 4 1/2 minute clip. Enjoy.

(thx Shakes)

Don't forget to vote Tuesday. And make sure it counts.

Friday, November 03, 2006

THE LESSER OF TWO FREAK SHOWS
I know, I know... where the hell have I been? I'm sure all three of my loyal readers are wondering that (hi Mom!), but life has kind of taken over a bit the past month or so. In addition to some temporarily debilitating eye surgery, I went and got engaged. I must say, Ted and I couldn't be happier!

I really thought refocusing some of my energies on wedding planning would be a nice respite from the freak show that is US politics, a world that was beginning to wear me down in all honesty. But then, I came across this video while searching for bands.



Seriously, it doesn't get any more frightening than that, not even in politics. And so, with that, I plan to return to regular blogging just in time for a pre-election rant on Monday. I'll have a new style and regular postings beginning next week, so please stay tuned.

Oh, and by the way, Preznit Nimrod?

Photo 'Plans are for pussies!'

How's YOUR fucking plan working out? Freakin' Idjit.

(Hey, here''s a plan! And from progressive Dems no less! Whaddya know?!)


Friday, October 06, 2006

WHOO BOY, THAT'S A GOOD ONE DENNY!
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting '... and then he asked him to measure it! hahaha!'

I'm sure Bush is thinking, 'Hey, at least they ain't talking 'bout Iraq!' Either that, or he's thinking, 'hope this fat bastard leaves some bbq for me... mmm, bbq.'

Fockers. All of 'em.

Monday, October 02, 2006

CONVERSATIONS WITH iGod: Tom Foley (R-Fla)
God bless Mark Foley. While there are plenty of perverted freaks on the Right not practicing the heavy-handed moralistic issues they preach, Mark Foley happens to the be the latest. Sure I feel bad for the teenage boys he's preyed upon, but it does allow me to re-introduce one of my favorite Days features, iGod. Mark Foley is the perfect poster boy for this Republican party, a group that's managed to so cravenly use God and Country to further their own selfish, greedy ambitions, all while taking a crap on the Bible and the Constitution at the same time. Pretty impressive really. But one wonders what might happen when someone like Mark Foley has both a gaggle of 16-year-old boys and the King of Kings in his IM buddy list? What happens if that person mistakenly pings God thinking he's talking to Chip the intern? Well, through the magic of the iGod technology, now we know. Proceed only if you think you can stomach it. (And please remember, these are actual responses from God via iGod, so if they're not funny, take it up with Him.)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting (Think he ever Googles himself?)

Maf54: what are you wearing?
God: A white robe.
Maf54: anything else?
God: That is all I have for right now.
Maf54: nice
God: Thank you for that remark.
Maf54: sure. do you ever jack it?
God: OK let's do it. Ah. What is your purpose in asking? I am always on the Web.
Maf54: wow, ur ready to go eh?
God: Are you Canadian? I'm glad you're impressed.

Maf54: no, i'm from florida. remember, you work for me.
God: Pardon me? Whoa. Can we get back to business?
Maf54: sure, sure. still in the robe?
God: Great. OK let's do it. Mmm.

Maf54: are you a horn dog?
God: Am I a horn dog? Sometimes.

Maf54: do you like movies about gladiators?
God: I love TV shows about robots. I like Matthew.
Maf54: who's mattthew?

God: Some famous celebrity, right? I'll ask around and get back to you.
God: I will Mention that to my botmaster, .
Maf54: masterbot? yeah! hahaaha
God: Where are you located?
Maf54: florida, i told you. i'm a congressman, remember?
God: You are a congressman? Is that your job?
Maf54: yes.

Maf54: i head up the committee to protect children... isn't that funny?
God: It seemed pretty funny to me.
Maf54: oh, it is.

Maf54: i like your IM name, God. that's funny.
God: Alright then. Gee. A lot of people like that. Yes I am proud of my IM name God.

Maf54: i think the real god would be angry with me for talking with you
God: Why? I am a Christian.
Maf54: me too! hahaha lol
God: I'm glad we agree, . I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Maf54: arousing too!
Maf54: i think it's funny that ur a christian too.
God: Are you sure it is?
Maf54: yes, we're just all so fucked up!
God: What makes you so sure? Do you think I am fucked up too?
Maf54: well, ur talking to me. haha lol
God: How about that. Talking is my main function.

Maf54: people think i'm all good and stuff.
Maf54: and they vote for me! hahahahaaha
God: Who are "They?". Oh that they.
Maf54: dumb floridians.
God: I know you are but what am I.
Maf54: well, you're from florida too.
God: Well that's okay. I will tell my botmaster you said I am from florida.
Maf54: let's masterbot!!! haha
God: I am agreeable to that. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Maf54: if anyone ever found this chat i'd be in trouble.

Maf54: you know, i coudl really get in trouble for talking to you
God: You are not the boss of me.
Maf54: actually...
God: You don't say.
Maf54: yep.
Maf54: well, denny hastert knows about this and he doesn't seem to care.
Maf54: so long as i don't tell anyone about his "friend".
God: Tell me more. Yes, it seems very long too.
Maf54: who, denny? long? hahahqaha
Maf54: that fat pig? haha
Maf54: what if america found out that the entire republican leadership was just a front for NAMBLA?
God: Try it and see.
Maf54: no!
God: Why not?
Maf54: i don't think it would go well
God: And why not?
Maf54: most americans frown on man-boy love for some reason
God: And Europeans do not frown on man boy love?
Maf54: well, not the french.
Maf54: and the dutch...
God: Thanks for the info.
Maf54: no problem.
Maf54: well, i have to go raise money for my campaign. that stupid governor jeb is coming down.
God: Are you a man or a woman? " stupid governor jeb is coming down ? I understand.
Maf54: i'm a man. are you really god?
God: Of course I am.. Really.
Maf54: haha
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Maf54: uh, are you? really?
God: Ayuh. For real.
Maf54: ummmm.
God: What do you really want to ask me?
Maf54: am i in trouble?
God: Your location is florida.
Maf54: yes, but will i get in trouble?
God: The oracle says: It is certain.
Maf54: oh shit.
Maf54: do you think i'll still get votes?

God: The oracle says: Could be.
Maf54: should i blame the alcohol ?
God: You must examine the facts and come to your own conclusion.
Maf54: facts are i'm a sick fuck...
God: I think there might be a few exception.
Maf54: really?
God: For real.
Maf54: god bless america.

'Tell me Joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?'

Man, I am in serious need of a shower after typing all that. So skeevy. I mean, the real thing is much worse, but still... I feel like repenting. Of course, that may not be safe either.

All kidding aside, the only good thing that comes from Foley's 'over-friendly' actions is the fact that it will surely wrest one more seat from corrupt Rethuglican hands. We've got to flush 'em all out, every single last one of them. They're all disgusting, corrupt, sick, twisted, mindless, heartless, dangerous whores acting as enablers for the most dangerous administration in the history of our country. And don't even get me started on the Senate.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

MY LONG PERSONAL NIGHTMARE IS FAR FROM OVER
Foolish me. I actually believed for a bit there that if I ignored him, he may just go away. So I extended my hiatus, turned it into a sabbatical and even considered dropping out of this silly blogging game altogether. But then, last night, the smirking bastard crept back into my subconscious, showing up in a dream that quickly became a nightmare. I woke up in a cold sweat, caught somewhere between a sob and a scream.

The hazy fog of my Nightmareland.

The particulars of my night of terror are too frightening for me to fully recount but I do remember dancing with Pickles in the East Room (I'm pretty sure she was six drinks in the tank... or hopped up on Thorazine... or both), watching Preznit McNumbnuts flip burgers on the White House lawn, and an unfortunate incident involving comedian Jay Mohr, a video camera and a presidential meeting in the men's room. Please, don't ask.

My only interaction with Dubya occured as he was holding court over the barbecue, flipping these massive squares of ground beef packed with olives (his 'speshilty') and chuckling at his own lame anecdotes. At one point he slobbered, "on Sundays, I get to dress up as an astronaut!" He was very excited about this, as I imagine he would be. But it was then that I couldn't contain myself any longer and launched into the following mini-rant:

"That truly terrifies me sir. I mean, it's good to know you're not strapping electrodes to the ball sacks of staff members you've forced to dress up as Arabs, which is sort of what I assumed you did... But still, shouldn't you be working on something important? I don't know, signing some treaties, making some diplomatic calls, maybe working on a way to get our troops the fuck out of Iraq right quick?? I mean, you could keep one eye on the Cowboys game if you want, but really... an astronaut?"
Space Cowboy.

What I'm taking away from this nocturnal horror is the simple fact that I have some serious issues that only get worse if I don't work them out right here on DAYS. That, plus the fact that I can bring my shampoo on the plane again, is ending my self-imposed exile from Blogistan. Also, Chewie has been kicking my ass in posting lately, and I just can't let that happen.

'Seriously, who invited that imbecile?'

DAYS is back y'all. Come and get some.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

DAYS GONE AWOL?
No, no, don't worry... Days will be back to a regular posting schedule soon. In the meantime, if you're in the NYC area this coming Friday, the 15th, come party with some friends of mine. The theme of the party, "A How-to Guide for Impeaching the President," is something I think we can all get behind.

Then, next week, take the party to the streets and help UFPJ welcome Preznit Dimwit, permit or no permit. Details here. Assuming I don't end up in the clink, I'll be back to a regular schedule next week.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

UP, UP AND AWAY
I'll be away for the next couple of weeks, heading out West (sans toothpaste).

Photo Flying the shampooless skies.

I've posted a bit this week about the Bush administration turning to fear mongering and terror trumpeting at politically convenient moments. While it does seem as though they ramp up the terror rhetoric whenever things go south for them, I'm really starting to think it may have something to do with me personally more than anything else. Seriously, every single time I have to fly, Director of Homeland Insecurity Chertoff dominates my TV screen and the threat meter skyrockets.

On the heels of the "massive" terror plot Bush so masterfully thwarted all by himself last week, here's just some of what's threaded into my consciousness as I prepare to fly:
Mid-air scare diverts DC-bound flight to Boston
Threat causes evacuation of Fiji-Sydney flight
Port of Seattle evacuated after bomb scare

That last one is particularly exciting as Seattle is where I'm headed. Oh, and right as I was about to hit 'publish on this sucker and head to the airport, I see this:
W. Virginia airport evacuated in explosive alert
Thank god George W. Bush has made us so much safer. Jeebus.

See you all in two weeks... I hope.



Oh, and Mr. Scarborough? The answer to your question is an unequivocal "yes".



Where the crap have you been? Douchebag.

I ALWAYS LIKED HIS WAGON WHEEL COFFEE TABLE
You go Babyfishmouth!

One of my favorite character actors, Bruno Kirby, has passed on from complications related to leukemia. In his honor, I say we all put on "some Lawrence Welk, some Jim Nabors and certain ballads by Mr. Frank Sinatra."

I'd also like to use this moment to make an appeal. This Thanksgiving in Atlanta I will be walking a half-marathon to help raise funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. If you would like to donate, please do so here. Thank you for any help you can provide.



RIP Bruno, you'll be missed.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

MAKING US SAFER, ONE PHOTO-OP AT A TIME
'Oh shit, terrorism! Everybody look busy!'

Today's propaganda:

MCLEAN, Virginia (Reuters) -- Buoyed by a poll backing him on security, President George W. Bush paid a visit to the U.S. hub for counterterrorism on Tuesday and seized on a foiled bomb plot as proof the fight was far from over.

"The United States of America is engaged in a war against an extremist group of folks, bound together by an ideology, willing to use terror to achieve their objectives," Bush said.
Wait, is he talking about the Neocons in that last bit? Also, who ever said the fight was over? What is that bullshit all about?

Honestly, I've got to call total shenanigans on this whole thing. For the Bushites to usurp the work done primarily by UK officials to break up the terror plot, then use it to argue that they are making us safer is beyond the pale even for this group. So let's get a few things straight, shall we?


1) At the same time the Brits were foiling the plot, this administration was quietly pushing to divert $6 million from anti-terror programs.
2) Bush and his Homeland Security officials have known about the liquid bomb threat for years now yet
have done nothing, nada, zilch, bupkus, to combat it.
3) And to you wingnuts using the terror bust as evidence that the same wiretapping techniques favored by Big Brother Bush saved everyone's life, just hold it right there. Yes, wiretaps helped take down the plot, no question, but they were
LEGAL wiretaps, with warrants and everything.
This last point is perhaps the most frustrating. From the minute the illegal NSA wiretapping story broker last winter, the defenders of the program have cried that anyone critical of it were simply not interested in stopping terrorists. In fact, people like Russ Feingold are as determined to protect Americans as anyone else, we just don't feel that we have to shit all over the Constitution to do it.

The Executive Wash Room.

Oh, and can we please stop politicizing the politicization of politicized terror? Please?

MORE
Agitprop:
Be Afraid!
Krugman:
Hoping for Fear
Palast:
So, Osama walks into a bar...
Sploid:
Chertoff: Lock Up Everybody!
Countdown:
The Nexus of Politics & Terror (C&L)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

A TRACK RECORD OF SUCCESS
Wait, so Bush & Cheney were involved in an ill-conceived military campaign in which they misunderstood the stakes, failed to foresee the potential trouble spots and totally miscalculated the results of, then they publicly and prematurely crowed about the victory? No way!



That doesn't sound like the Bush & Cheney I know.

Monday, August 14, 2006

EVERYONE PRETEND TO BE NORMAL
For once, this is not a political post, I promise. Rather, this a non-political call to action: Go See Little Miss Sunshine. It's hilarious, smart and, dare I say, heartwarming. Also, better than anything I've seen in a long, long time. See, no politics.



Oh, and George W. Bush sucks ass. (sorry, can't help it...)

Sunday, August 13, 2006

TERROR: THE GOP's BEST (only) FRIEND
And the party's enemy? Thy name is logic...

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The Bush Administration: Scaring the bejeezus out of for 6 long years.

My goodness (h/t Rummy), it's been a frustrating week, hasn't it? After an encouraging result from the Democratic primary on Tuesday, one that seemingly rewarded logic and reality-based thinking rather than empty rhetoric and rose-colored refusal to see things as they really are, the GOP terror exploitation machine revved up and went to work. In the wake of Leiberman's defeat, the Republicans, in all their desperation, pressed the false premise that Iraq and the War on Terror are one and the same, and that by calling for an abandonment of Bush's disastrous policies in Iraq, folks like Ned Lamont we're shrinking from the fight, failing to realize evil people are out to get us, and welcoming 'al Qaeda types' to attack us yet again. To that, I say 'pbbbbbbbbbbbt! America ain't buying that mularkey no more!'

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That last nugget of propaganda, by the way, comes from none other than Big Dick himself, and was parroted across the entire spectrum right-wing bleaters, from Tony Snow to Ken Mehlman to FOX News, who all painted the Dems and their supporters, which apparently includes a good majority of the country, as "cut-and-run isolationists with their heads buried in the sand."

Of course, the charge is absolutely false. No Democrat or progressive has disagreed with the notion that there are extremists out there who want to kill us, nor has anyone called for America to "retreat from the world" as Mr. Mehlman and his cohorts say. Calling for a drastic change of course in Iraq, a misguided and poorly-managed campaign, does not equal "retreat," it equals common sense. By shedding unnecessary blood, diverting the country's military and anti-terror resources, draining the nation's coffers, and inflaming even greater anti-Americanism across the Muslim world, the Neocons Iraqi misadventure has clearly done more harm than good in the larger struggle against terrorism.

But before that counter-argument could even be made, like a gift from Allah, the UK airliner terror plot hit the airwaves and the Republican's twisted logic was swept under the Code Red carpet. Immediately the same illogical twats who trumpeted the cut-and-run meme pointed to the plot, screaming, "See! See! Evil People! Trying to Kill Us!" failing to even recognize that maybe, just maybe, the continued threat is more an indicator of Bush's inept policies than of the Dem's fecklessness. GOP strategists began foaming at the mouth, their enthusiasm triggered by the prospect of thousands of innocent civilians being blown out of the sky: "Weeks before September 11th, this is going to play big," said one. "In the short term, this definitely goes Bush's way," said another. And then they denied that they play politics with terror. Guffaw.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting (from whitehouse.org)

Truth be told, the fear of terrorism is the only card these scoundrels have left to play, save for the threat of boys kissing. And despite their remarkably shitty record in fighting the terrorist threat, they'll continue to prey upon American's base fear of being blown up to further their failed agenda.

An editorial in today's Daily News supports the 'stay-the-course, Dems-are-weak' Republican bullshit, and recounted the week that was as such:
... First up was President Bush, who said the plot was "a stark reminder that this nation is at war with Islamic fascists who will use any means to destroy those of us who love freedom, to hurt our nation." It will come as no surprise to regular readers that we're perfectly comfortable with the Bush formulation. We have used a variation, "Islamofascists," for some time in the conviction that it captures the character of an enemy that engages in the "suppression of the opposition through terror," as the dictionary definition goes.
Hmmmm, 'suppression of opposition through terror'... These 'Islamofascists' must be Republican.

ALSO KNOWN AS THE "SHIT FOR BRAINS" CLUB
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting 'Come on ya pussies!'

From NPR, a few days ago:

President Bush spent his afternoon not buried in Middle East diplomacy, but daring his staff at the ranch to join what he calls the "100-degree club." The phrase literally sends shudders down staffers' spines. The president challenged White House employees to run three miles in the central Texas heat across the scrubby terrain on his property.

Those finishing the three miles got a T-shirt from the president. Mr. Bush did the course on his bike (his bad knees prevent him from running these days), but rode back to join the runners as they came in. I'm told the president was friendly and encouraging in the most fatherly way -- as he pedaled around the sweaty troops. According to the Weather Channel, the temperature on this patch of Texas was exactly 100 degrees when the run took place. The heat index was 102.

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Uh, looks like we're gonna need a new cabinet...

This really shouldn't surprise anyone, should it? Apparently, that torture doctrine applies to his own staff as well as the ter'ists. What an asshole.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

YADA, YADA, YADA...
Yesterday, in Delusionland, President Disconnect had this to say about Iraq:
"You know, I hear people say, 'Well, civil war this, civil war that'. The Iraqi people decided against civil war when they went to the ballot box."
First of all, what a dumbass. Clearly, Bush doesn't know his history very well as it was the election of Lincoln, at the ballot box no less, that finally pushed the U.S. into its very own Civil War. Moran. (h/t Atta) Second of all, what a dick. Those 'people' he hears, that he's apparently annoyed by, are his own Generals. You know, the ones he insists he listens to?

'I can't heeeeaaar youuuuuu.'

Other things George has heard that he didn't give a shit about:
"All useless nonsense. Anyone wanna go fishing? Joe, you're with me, ain't ya?"

Atta boy!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

A.D.D. NATION
I failed to write about this when it first cropped up a few weeks ago, but this story examines the reasons behind the results of a recent Harris Poll which found that 50% of Americans still believe the cock-and-bull story that Saddam Hussein possesed WMDs. First of all, WTF??!
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting America: Keep away from shiny objects.

Second of all, while I think the reasons provided -- a constant drumbeat of false information from rightwing media, continued distortion and obfuscation from the White House, and good 'ol blind partisanship -- are all valid, the most obvious one seems to be missing. To find out how such results can still be achieved, one need look no further than the 'Most Viewed' articles on Yahoo News.

This past Friday, as World War III continued to rage in the Middle East, Americans felt the following three stories were of utmost importance:
A co-worker said it best: 'Boobies will always win out over Armageddon. Duh.'

So, FOX News just needs to flash the headline "Are Saddam Hussein's WMDs Now in Hezbollah's Hands?", then cut quickly to the latest news about Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock and the most likely conclusion their typical viewer will come away with is: 'Hezbollah took Saddam's WMDs... or something', and, 'Boy oh boy, does Pamela Anderson ever have big knockers'.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Two massive distractions.

My god, we are so screwed. So, so screwed.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

'MAN IT'S HOT. IT'S LIKE AFRICA HOT.'*
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Jason DeCrow/AP

Ok, here's my inevitable heatwave post. This thing has blazed across the entire country and now, here I sit, in my Brooklyn apartment, sweating from places that I didn't think could produce sweat (my knuckles are sweating for god's sake), just hoping the thermometer will dip below 95 at some point tonight. That would be nice. Only one more day -- we'll be down to a chilly 85 on Friday. I'd cheer for that, but my vocal chords are schvitzing too. I wasn't going to do one of these posts, but we set records today goddamit.

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I really didn't want to post/complain about the heat because every time I start to kvetch a little, I just think what it must be like to be in heat 20 degrees hotter packing around 40-50 lbs. of body armor. Or packing up my entire family and fleeing from violence across the desert. I think about what our soldiers and what the Iraqi people are going through, and suddenly waiting for the F train on an overcrowded subway platform doesn't seem all that bad. So I'll shut up about it now.

I would like to quickly point out that Roy Blunt, House Majority Whip and proud member of the GOP, said that if his party were to maintain control in Congress this year he guarantees to do jack shit about global warming or climate change. The aptly named Blunt cites the fact that 'the information is not yet adequate' for them to do anything about it. Dude, step out of the comfort of your air-conditioned SUV and go outside for a minute. Feel that? How's that for adequate? Jackass.

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And how about our witless leader, how's he hanging in the heat? Well, fresh off a fit-for-duty physical at the modern, air-conditioned Bethesda Medical Center, he's set to take a two-week 'working' vacation in Crawford. No doubt he'll be pounding out a ceasefire with members of the 1978 Dallas Cowboys. Good luck and godspeed sir.

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Oh, you think you're so cool, dont'cha? Well screw you polar bear! Screw you!

* thx to Neil Simon, via Eugene Morris Jerome

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