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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

GO ON, BEAM HIM UP
So Scott McCllelan has been cut loose, eh? Well thank god, that oughta clean this entire mess right up, no? Honestly, these recent staff changes are the political equivalent of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. If Scotty could offer comment I'm sure he'd say that it's White House policy not to comment on an ongoing capsizing.

Image hosting by Photobucket 'Good boy! Now go! Run! Be free!'

You know, I always felt kind of sorry for Scotty McCllelan. I know, I know, he's guilty of parroting the many lies of BushCo., he stonewalled, he dissembled, he squirmed, he tap-danced, etc. But I just always had this feeling that Scotty was the poor schlub who just wanted to be part of the gang, run with the cool crowd. He seems like the guy who the jocks laughed at while they snapped him with towels. And instead of fighting back or getting mad, he probably laughed along with them just so he could feel as though he was in on the joke. Seriously, how many times do you think Rummy pantsed this poor, pasty-faced tub?

Image hosting by Photobucket 'Please Rummy, make it stop.''

That said, I have minimal sympathy for the guy. He should've grabbed that towel, wrapped it around Rummy's neck and yanked it until the crazy bastard turned purple.

So now discussion of a replacement begins. Much speculation out on the interwebs about this. Trent Duffy seems to want the job, and badly. D-Renegade is pulling for Torrie Clarke, based solely on the former Defense Dept. spokeswoman's fabulously garish fashion sense. Jeff at SOD has plenty of suggestions, including Saddam's brilliant propaganda minister, Baghdad Bob. But the consensus seems to be -- wait for it -- current FOX News talking head Tony Snow. Mr. Snow has a history of making misleading or downright false statements, a pre-requisite for FOX News staffers. Snow's latest outrageous claim came just yesterday when he attributed sky-rocketing gas prices to the current criticism of Don Rumsfeld. Yep, he sounds perfect for the job.

But I have another suggestion, how about Lindsay Lohan? Check out her performance from this past weekend's SNL:

Image hosting by Photobucket (click image to view. thx BradBlog)

I don't know, Linds may be perfect for the job. And can anyone imagine her and the twins tearing it up in the District every night? Scary.

Image hosting by Photobucket ... and he's climbing a stairway to heaven.

Fare thee well Scotty, you sad, chubby bastard you.

MORE
C&L:
Al Franken says goodbye (audio)
Countdown:
Scotty's greatest hits (video)
AgitProp:
A FOX in the White House
Shakes QOTD:
Who (or what) should replace Scotty?

[return to DAYS home]

Comments:
"rearranging chairs on the Titanic"

Very aptly put.
 
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