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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

THE RUMMY DIARIES
Is it news that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is a bit off his nut? No, of course it’s not, everybody knows that. But with all the time I’ve spent pointing out how big a ‘nefarious bastard’ his partner-in-crime Dick Cheney is, it only seems fair that I shine the asshole light on The Donald for once.

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Cheney and Rumsfeld, fucking things up since 1975 (at least)

This week, Rummy re-joined the fight over Iraq, lashing out at critics with his trademark nonsensical reasoning. In attempting to show that Iraq isn’t nearly as bad as the evil liberal media makes it out to be, Rumsfeld offered up some new ways of looking at Iraq. Call this a primer on how to see Iraq through Rumsfeld-colored glasses.

First of all, he suggests we don’t pay attention to US fatalities. Hmmmm, interesting idea… frankly, I don’t think I can argue against this logic. I mean, he does have a point – if it weren’t for all the death and stuff, this Iraq thing really wouldn’t be all that bad. Secondly, Rummy advises we stop paying attention to terrorist attacks in Iraq. Given the administration’s recent ‘failing grade’ in the War on Terror, they apparently bought into this philosophy of ignoring terrorism quite some time ago.

Lastly, and this one’s my favorite, Rumsfeld sought to discredit the negative stories coming out of Iraq by pointing out that a case in which soldiers were suspected of dropping detainees into a lion’s cage has not yet been substantiated. So that’s the measure of success now? As long as we’re not feeding our enemies to the lions we’re doing ok?

Image hosted by TinyPic.com 'See, if you just grab 'em by the balls and twist reallll hard...'

Ok, so he doesn’t advocate the use of lions to interrogate suspected terrorists, I suppose that’s progress. But the guy is a blood-thirsty maniac regardless. As evidence, look no further then this exchange with General Pace during a press briefing last week:
General Pace: "It is absolutely the responsibility of every U.S. service member, if they see inhumane treatment being conducted, to intervene to stop it."

Rumsfeld: "But I don't think you mean they have an obligation to physically stop it; it's to report it."

This guy can’t even stand the thought of not torturing people. He and Cheney really are two sadistic peas in a wickedly warped pod aren’t they? A commenter over at Think Progress perhaps said it best: "I know where Rummy’s sanity is: It’s in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat."

Yep, just like those WMDs are, eh Donald?

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'Yeah, yeah, poison gas, rape chambers... How about lions? What's your opinion on lions?'

MORE
Cohen: It’s Time to Sack Rumsfeld
Rumsfeld:
Kung-Fu Master
DAYS:
Celebrating Rummy
CJR: Rummy's Compassion
Milbank:
Rumsfeld’s War on ‘Insurgents’

(my apologies to the late Dr. Thompson for associating his novel with a scoundrel such as Rummy)

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