DAYS

ALITO A-GO-GO
So here we are, in week two of 2006, and what's top-of-mind among the hoi poloi? Scarlett's 'Lady Bazzers'? Britney and Kevin's rocky relationship? Brangelina?? No, no, none of that silliness, this country isn't nearly that shallow. Nope, all anyone can talk about is a certain conservative judge from New Jersey. A judge who I think looks a little like Danny DeVito in high heels. Not that I've ever seen Mr. DeVito in high heels, I'm just saying.

I think I'll make Rieger work a double tonight.

Alright, so maybe people aren't more interested in Supreme Court nominees than they are Scarlett's ta-tas. That's totally understandble. But make no mistake, the sure-to-be-scintillating SCOTUS confirmation hearings for Judge Samuel Alito did begin yesterday. And after the religious nutbags finished oiling down the Senate chamber seats with holy juices (no shit), Mr. Alito opened with the following:

"But this was back in the late 1960s and early 1970s. It was a time of turmoil at colleges and universities. And I saw some very smart people and very privileged people behaving irresponsibly. And I couldn't help making a contrast between some of the worst of what I saw on the campus and the good sense and the decency of the people back in my own community."

Privileged people behaving irresponsibly on college campuses in the late 60s? He's couldn't possibly be talking about this, could he?

“A woman holds a knife and pretends to slash the throat of another person lying down before them, and there's screaming and yelling at the neophytes. There is a devil, a Don Quixote and a Pope who has one foot sheathed in a white monogrammed slipper resting on a stone skull. The initiates are led into the room one at a time. And once an initiate is inside, the Bonesmen shriek at him. Finally, the Bonesman is shoved to his knees in front of Don Quixote as the shrieking crowd falls silent. And Don Quixote lifts his sword and taps the Bonesman on his left shoulder and says, ‘By order of our order, I dub thee knight of Euloga.’"

Because if that's the type of behavior Alito is referring too, he really out to think about whether he wants to work with the guy who nominated him.


'So, uh, do you want to wear the Quixote costume or what?'

MORE
Shakes: Lubing Up Alito
Digby: Freeping the Court
Milbank: Bipartisan Agreement
ReddHead is live-blogging the heck out of the hearings.