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Sunday, December 04, 2005

CHRISTMAS CRUSADERS

"The fact is, we've gone on the offense now. We've put them on the defense. We're kicking their butts." -- Jerry Falwell, religious douchebag
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'There's a reverend at the door, says he wants to sue Zuzu.'

To folks like Falwell, the true meaning of Christmas can apparently be found in litigation and ass-whuppings. How very Christian of them. Honestly, if this so-called 'War on Christmas' exists, how come I'm reminded nearly every hour of every day that it is, without a doubt, 'the most wonderful time of the year'? Every commercial I see, every other song I hear, every television show I watch, I'm reminded that's it's Christmas. And it's still three weeks away. Seriously reverend, Christmas already owns October through January, what the hell else do you want? You know what really ruins the holiday season? Boycotts, petitions, lawyers and sputtering, fundy windbags like yourself, that's what.

This supposed fight, this stupid argument, has become as much a tradition as Rudolph or Frosty or nativity scenes depicting the birth of Santa. Honestly, who cares what you call it? Just enjoy it, spend time with your friends and families, relax with a little nog and call it whatever the hell you want to. Call it Jesus Month if you want, just stop telling me what to call it. And stop fighting about it. You too O'Reilly. And even you ACLU. Seriously, Can all of you just shut up and let us enjoy our December for once?

Image hosted by TinyPic.com The Capitol Jesus Bush.

And why is Congress concerning itself and us with this bullshit? Is it because they don't want us to think about the fact they just passed a budget which radically cuts programs for the poor and needy? Is it because they want us to forget about the young Americans dying every day overseas? Every. Single. Day. What a tragic waste of time.

Screw Christmas. Go Holidays. Whatever.

MORE
Echidne :
Saturn Trees
The General:
Recruiting O'Reilly
Check the
Rockin' Holiday Lights
Sploid:
Santa Claus Torched the Giant Goat!

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