DAYS

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

ME THINKS 'THUMPING' WAS A EUPHEMISM
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You've got something on your face.

Preznit McLoser just can't catch a break, can he? It was a rough week, to say the least. I almost feel bad... but then I remember I pretty much hate the guy. And then I laugh. The electorate smashed him at the polls, his critics repeatedly battered him, even his own party managed to pop him a few times. These beatings, of course, are only figurative. This one, however, was not:

President Bush's wax likeness is taking a thumpin' these days at Madame Tussaud's celebrity waxworks in Las Vegas. Bush's head suffered about $25,000 in damages when a Madame Tussaud's visitor attacked it."This was the most damage" to one of the wax figures, Jack Taylor, spokesman for the museum, said. "People are always touching them, but this was pretty rare."

Who ever said Bush couldn't accomplish anything? He's got the title for 'Most Beat Down Wax Figure in History' yo! So shut up, ya mofos.

And it gets worse. The official Democratic Senate Proctologist, Henry Waxman, is stretching on the rubber gloves and getting ready for an extremely thorough probing. Only problem? There's so much shit, he doesn't even know where to begin. Meanwhile, W's former Neocronies are trying to slink out the back door, throwing daggers at his back as they do. Still others are twisting the knife in over the timing of the Rumsfeld firing.

And then there are the polls. The latest numbers on King Decider's popularity create cause for a revival of our efforts to inform the Preznit in a simple, easy-to-understand manner of just how unpopular he is. Hey Loser, take a look...

From way downtown. Bang.

Got it? And no, that doesn't mean it's Miller Time. Seriously sir, lay off the sauce.

Lastly, since we're on the subject of polls, everyone catch this one?

An MSNBC online poll shows that the overwhelming majority of its participating voters believe President Bush should be impeached. The poll asked the question, "Do you believe President Bush's actions justify impeachment?" Of nearly 360,000 people who had voted, 87 percent responded "Yes." (thx D-Ren)

Oh snap. I know it's unscientific and all, but goddam that's unpopular. Loser.