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Thursday, May 11, 2006

MOTHER, SHOULD I TRUST THE GOVERNMENT?
There is nothing more important, more sacred, than mothers. Aside from that whole birthing thing, which is pretty crucial to all of us being here, mothers can also be a voice of reason, an inspiration, a teacher, a sounding board, a support mechanism, a shoulder to cry on and a comfort zone. Mothers, in a word, rock.

I talk about mothers a lot on this site... unfortunately, it's usually followed shortly by an expletive and directed at members of the current misadministration. That said, even the crooks in the White House have mothers. And so, today, we take a moment to recognize these women and shower them with some well-deserved Mother's Day gifts. Ready?

Laura Bush: A refill on Xanax.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Oh yeah, she's not on anything at all. w'ev.
Come on, if you had to put up with that tool day in and day out, you'd be raiding Patrick Kennedy AND Rush Limbaugh's stash of drugs, wouldn't you? Oh, and we'll throw in a set of new batteries too.

Lynne Cheney: A lesson in timing.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting 'And now I'll read from my book, Sisters.'
Perhaps Lynne can pass this gift on to her daughter, Mary (did ya hear? she's a lesbian!). Seems like Mary could learn that speaking out against the proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage now is less useful or brave than it would've been if she'd spoke up during the 2004 presidential campaign. You know, when her dad and his party were out there riling up the homobigots in their base to ensure re-election? And maybe pass along a bar of soap to her as well so she can wash her filthy mouth out. Honestly. (ht Shakes)

Karen Hughes: A copy of "The Middle East for Dummies"
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting 'Hey kids, wanna see my Mohammed pop-up book?'
Tapped as good-will ambassador to the Middle East, a part of the world that almost universally hates us now thanks to her boss, Karen has proceeded to do nothing but misunderstand almost everything about the region and insult its inhabitants at every turn. Heckuva job on the hearts and minds there Big Foot.

Barbara Bush: A retroactive abortion.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting 'Pssst, you were a mistake... in so many ways.'
Better make that two, just in case. And maybe we can get a lobotomy for Babs beautiful mind while we're at it.

Finally, as a reminder to the warmongers currently occupying the nation's capital, Mother's Day was originally founded as a cry for peace and a pean to pacifism. The following comes from Julia Ward Howe's original 1872 Mother's Day Proclamation:

Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly: "We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."
Read the rest. And someone get these bitches to read it to their men. Quick.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Queen Muthas.

Happy Mother's Day Mom. Thanks for everything.

MORE
Mom's Rising
Wiki: Mother's Day
Nation: The Motherhood Manifesto
CodePink: Celebrate Mom's Day in DC
(ht to Delilah for the idea, and to Floyd for the post head)

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