DAYS

Monday, July 24, 2006

I'M A WAR PRESIDENT! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

The Bush Doctrine.

So Dick Cheney wants fellow Republicans to run on their national security credentials, eh? He thinks the Bush administration's awesome foreign policy skills and track record of success in the War On Terror should provide Rethugs an advantage come November. Oh really? Cheney said:

"As we make our case to the voters this year, it is vital to keep issues of national security at the top of the agenda. The president and I welcome the discussion because every voter in America needs to know where the president and I stand -- and where every candidate for federal office stands -- when it comes to the war on terror. Either we're serious about fighting this war or we are not. With George Bush leading this nation we are serious."

Listen buddy, you can be serious about something and still totally suck at it, ok? I'm sure David Hasselhoff is very serious about his singing, but that doesn't make him any good, no matter what the Germans may think.

Honestly, doesn't it feel like Barney Fife has been left alone with the keys to our foreign policy and a bottle of hooch for the past six years? These idiots can't do anything right. They just barrel forth, seemingly ignorant of history, culturally aloof, detached from reality and completely unaware or uncaring about the potential reprecussions of they're actions. They don't believe they can be wrong. They don't try to learn from their mistakes. They don't even think they've made any mistakes. All while George Bush drops pearls of diplomatic wisdom such as 'they gotta stop this shit' into the annals of the foreign policy hall of fame.

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'Nip it in the bud... bomb someone!'

So really Dick, are you sure you want to talk about your, erm, foreign policy 'successes' as you head into election season? Just what would those successes be? Could you be talking about your wildly succesful freedom project in Iraq? How's that going?

None left untouched by daily violence in Baghdad
Iraq's morgues are overflowing and 100 civilians a day are killed in communal violence, but official statistics tell only part of the story of a slide into civil war -- for the rest, just listen to ordinary Iraqis.

Talk to people at random in the capital and a picture quickly emerges of a city where virtually everyone has a friend, relative or neighbour who has fallen victim to the sectarian shootings and death threats that Washington accepts are now an even bigger threat than the 3-year-old Sunni insurgency.

Every one of 20 people who spoke to Reuters around their workplace in central Baghdad, from a variety of sects and ethnic groups, had a horror story of conflict touching their lives. Eight had lost family or close friends to gunmen, four had suffered from kidnaps in their immediate circle, four knew people well who had received death threats. Four knew people well who had died in bombings. Some had themselves been threatened.

But surely that's just the hippie liberal media spinning things against Bush's policy. Baghdad is actually a whole lot more "relaxing" than the media makes it sound, right?

BAGHDAD -- Bombings and shootings soared by 40 percent in the Baghdad area in the past week, the U.S. command said Thursday. An American general said extremists were preparing "an all-out assault" on the capital in a decisive battle for the future of Iraq.
BAGHDAD -- Tens of thousands of Iraqis have fled their homes in fear of sectarian violence that has worsened since formation of a U.S.-backed national unity government two months ago, official data showed on Thursday.

BAGHDAD -- Bombs killed more than 60 people and wounded more than 200 Sunday in Baghdad and the northern oil center of Kirkuk - a dramatic escalation of violence as U.S. and Iraqi forces crack down on Iraq's most feared Shiite militia.
BAGHDAD -- More than 14,000 civilians have been killed in Iraq in the first half of this year, an ominous figure reflecting the fact that "killings, kidnappings and torture remain widespread" in the war-torn country, a United Nations report says. Killings of civilians are on "an upward trend," with more than 5,800 deaths and more than 5,700 injuries reported in May and June alone, it says.

Ok, so Iraq isn't all hearts and flowers, fine. But what about Afghanistan? That's surely a success story, right?

Afghanistan close to anarchy, warns general
The most senior British military commander in Afghanistan today described the situation in the country as "close to anarchy" with feuding foreign agencies and unethical private security companies compounding problems caused by local corruption.

Well, fuck. At least al Qaeda is on the run, you can't deny that.

Al-Qaeda regrouping, on the march
"Today, al-Qaida has not only regrouped, but it is on the march," said Bruce Hoffman, a terrorism expert at the Rand Corp. "Al-Qaida is now functioning exactly as its founder and leader, Osama bin Laden, envisioned it."
The organization has evolved into what bin Laden set out to create: a fractured, worldwide movement inspired by bin Laden and united by a single vision, as well as a central organization that continues to direct the implementation of terrorist attacks.

Ok, I give up. Is there any good news? Any at all?

Mideast violence may raise odds of US attack: experts
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Bush administration's tacit support for Israeli military strikes on Lebanon may have increased the danger of militant retaliation against the United States and U.S. interests abroad, some experts say.

Israel's attempt to cripple Hizbollah in Lebanon may have strengthened the Shi'ite organization by winning it fresh political support among moderate Arabs and Muslims, former officials and other experts said. The Bush administration's stance that calling an immediate ceasefire would not be productive has also angered many Arabs at a time when bombings in Lebanon are causing large numbers of Muslim civilian casualties, they added.

One European counterterrorism official said it was widely recognized there that Middle East hostilities could become a motivating factor for Sunni groups inspired by Osama bin Laden who ordinarily dislike Hizbollah but might try to exploit the outrage in Arab communities. "Even al Qaeda itself may be ready with an attack, and they may choose to use it now."

No, no there isn't. Thanks for playing. And yeah, run on your security record. Makes a lot sense Mr. Last Throes. Good luck with that, ya jackass.

At least while the world burns and the four horsemen of the apocalypse draw nearer, Bush is keeping his eye on the ball, working hard and doing what needs to be done to come up with a solution to the world's problems. Apparently, he's enlisted the Soul Patrol to help with the job.