DAYS

Friday, March 03, 2006

THIS DAY IN OPERATION F.U.B.A.R. HISTORY (pt. 2)
Sure hindsight is 20/20 and all that, but sometimes it's important to look back at where we've been to find out how we got where we are... or something like that. A few days ago we hopped in the Wayback Machine and rode it to February 2003. Today, we take a look at what was happening on March 3rd, 2003. So come on Doc Brown, crank up that flux capacitor and kick the Delorean up to 88 mph, we gotta go back, Back to 2003.

'Great Scott! The war drums are deafening!'

Plans for the invasion of Iraq had already been set by this point, that is if you can call "bombing the shit out 'em and hoping for the best" a plan. On March 3rd of 2003, one crucial element of that plan came crashing down when Turkey refused to allow US troops to station in their country for invasion support from the North. This however did little to deter US plans. The Neocon chickenhawks in the White House and Pentagon surged forward anyway. They were going to have their war, one way or the other. And on this evening in 2003, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld addressed and took questions from friendly congressional allies at a "statesmanship" dinner. Let's roll the tape.

3/3/03: Donald Rumsfeld remarks at the U.S. Association of Former Members of Congress Statesmanship Dinner

"And I picked up the phone and I called this fellow sitting right here named Bob Michel who was a Congressman and I said, "Look, I need some help." And he said, "Look, I'm going to be flying into O'Hare Airport. You come by. We'll get a picture taken and then you can do what you want with it." -- well, I'll tell you, when I get a sitting Congressman to endorse me and give me a picture -- I took that picture and I plastered it all over the district. It was the best thing I had going for me, and I'll never forget it, my friend. Thank you."

AUDIENCE MEMBER: "Did you win?"

RUMSFELD: "You bet I won."

So we have Bob Michel to thank, in part, for Donald Rumsfeld. Fantastic, thanks Bob. Hey, did you know Bob Michel was the minority leader in the House at the time of Richard Nixon's resignation? Funny that, no? Also, this, from his Wikipedia entry: "Michel stirred a minor controversy in the early 90s when he fondly recalled minstrel shows in which he had participated in blackface as a young man, expressing his regret that they had fallen out of fashion." Nice.

Rummy dismissed with the pleasantries and quickly got into full-on 'freak-your-shit-out' mode:

"Before I turn to questions, and I'm told there are some microphones, and we can do some questions and answers before you eat if you would like, let me just comment briefly about the global war on terror."

No, really? You want to talk about that? Color me surprised.

"In our new security environment, the consequences of failing to act until all the dots are connected might not be 3,000 lives, but 30,000 or 300,000. We've entered into what could very well prove to be the most dangerous security environment the world has known. In the 21st century, we're dealing with weapons that mean that the cost of waiting until attacked could result in carnage of historic proportions."

Now, enjoy your chicken picatta while you let that apocalyptic little statement roll around your feeble little noggins.

'Who's hungry?'

"It should not come as a surprise to anybody that there is a debate and discussion here in the United States and around the world about this new security environment that we're in. No one -- no one rational person wants war, but that's not the choice before us today."

No, that "choice" will come in about, oh, 14 days.

Next up are the questions, perfectly delivered by Neocon drones in easy-to-digest, peace-bashing talking points.

HAROLD POLLACK: "I'm concerned that the press in this country, the liberal, leftist press, is making us look like an aggressor nation, and nobody has ever thought of the United States as an aggressor nation. And I'd like to know what you can do and what we can do to turn that around."

RUMMY: "It is not fun to see the editorials or people protesting and disagreeing. On the other hand, that's a sign of democracy. It's always been that way."

'That's why we had one of 'dem hippie freaks arrested today for wearing a pansy-ass peace t-shirt to the mall. Because this is a democracy dammit.'

AUDIENCE MEMBER: "Mr. Secretary, tell us about our good friend, Turkey."

RUMMY: "We don't know whether they're going to go back and have another vote, but it is a tough set of issues for the Turkish government. That's brand new, has never governed before, this party, and we'll have to see what happens. Fortunately, we have workarounds we can do, and in the event that force has to be used in Iraq, it will not be as easy, but it will be fine."

As we know, Turkey didn't hold a second vote. They didn't allow our troops to station there. And it was one of many serious blows to an already ill-advised invasion plan. And why didn't Turkey cooperate? Well, it may have been this: "Members of the Turkish parliament who voted against their own government in defiance of Washington have said that they did so in part as a reaction to the brusque demands of some members of the Bush team, especially Vice President Dick Cheney." (more)

JIM COYNE: "Mr. Secretary, you probably have had more personal experience with the leaders of Germany and France and, of course, NATO, over the past many years. Can you give us some view as to after the war, assuming that we are successful, what will be the reaction of these countries?"

In other words, when can we start rubbing this shit in those smarmy European's faces? And what will they say when we're waving our flag in their noses, renaming our deep-fried snack foods, and dumping their dirty champagne down our toilets?

RUMMY: "The other thing that's happened in Europe that makes it somewhat different than the way we address things is that, for one thing, we experienced September 11th. They didn't, and that's a big difference."

Yes, because America was the first country ever to experience terrorism.

"And everything, almost everything, is worth compromising, because if you believe that that is your ultimate strength, is to be a part of those networks, then in fact, all -- that the network itself has more value than the direction that would come out of any particular decision, then you behave in a certain way."

In other words, they believe in this whole 'diplomacy' nonsense, which is just total bullshit.