Tuesday, May 02, 2006
The DAYS DAILY 5
Trawling the internets for all the latest political chum.
1. US News reports that our poor wittle pwesident had his feelings hurt by the mean Mr. Colbert. Good. Meanwhile, FOX News complains that the scathing routine was "over the line" and "not very funny." Hey FOX, you know what's over the line? Making jokes about missing WMDs while soldiers are getting blown to bits in a still raging war -- that's over the line. And you know what's not very funny? Horse masturbation jokes. Froomkin, FDL and Atrios/Salon all have more. Go thank the mean Mr. Colbert, wont' you?
2. A lawsuit is forcing the details of convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff's White House visits to be released. This is good news but I swear, if Jack's visits mysteriously match up with Gannon's visits, I'm throwing in the f'ing towel. It'll just be too much. I mean, it won't be as head-spinning as the Director of the CIA tied up with defense contractors and crooked congressmen in a 'hookers for influence' scandal emanating from the the Watergate hotel, but my head will probably still explode. And besides, that hooker thing would never happen, right?. Uhhhhh, yeah.
3. Raw Story: Apparently, that whole 'Valerie Plame wasn't working on anything important' argument just went up in smoke. Turns out she was working on Iran's nuclear program. The little man inside my head who wears the tin-foil mittens thinks maybe Plame was coming up with all the wrong answers prompting Cheney to place an order to "out the bitch". Sounds like something he'd say, no?
4. The Republican Congress backed off its ridiculous idea to bribe gas-weary Americans with crisp Ben Franklins. The idea was basically this: "Worried about gas prices? Here's a $100. Now STFU." I realize they've been basically fu*king us the last six years, but must they so blatantly treat us like whores? I kinda wish it had gone through though, just so we could partake in Dark Wraith's brilliant plan.
5. With a placenta-munching Tom Cruise getting ready to attack Manhattan for the premiere of mi3IIIii (or whatever) this week, the summer movie season has begun. The NYDN gives us this handy preview. The only thing you really need to know? 'Snakes on a Plane' opens August 18. That's right, Snakes on a MotherF'ing Plane. Deal with it.
ON THIS DAY: In 2004, Poland establishes May 2nd as Flag Day, reminding us all never to forget Poland again.
Trawling the internets for all the latest political chum.
1. US News reports that our poor wittle pwesident had his feelings hurt by the mean Mr. Colbert. Good. Meanwhile, FOX News complains that the scathing routine was "over the line" and "not very funny." Hey FOX, you know what's over the line? Making jokes about missing WMDs while soldiers are getting blown to bits in a still raging war -- that's over the line. And you know what's not very funny? Horse masturbation jokes. Froomkin, FDL and Atrios/Salon all have more. Go thank the mean Mr. Colbert, wont' you?
2. A lawsuit is forcing the details of convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff's White House visits to be released. This is good news but I swear, if Jack's visits mysteriously match up with Gannon's visits, I'm throwing in the f'ing towel. It'll just be too much. I mean, it won't be as head-spinning as the Director of the CIA tied up with defense contractors and crooked congressmen in a 'hookers for influence' scandal emanating from the the Watergate hotel, but my head will probably still explode. And besides, that hooker thing would never happen, right?. Uhhhhh, yeah.
3. Raw Story: Apparently, that whole 'Valerie Plame wasn't working on anything important' argument just went up in smoke. Turns out she was working on Iran's nuclear program. The little man inside my head who wears the tin-foil mittens thinks maybe Plame was coming up with all the wrong answers prompting Cheney to place an order to "out the bitch". Sounds like something he'd say, no?
4. The Republican Congress backed off its ridiculous idea to bribe gas-weary Americans with crisp Ben Franklins. The idea was basically this: "Worried about gas prices? Here's a $100. Now STFU." I realize they've been basically fu*king us the last six years, but must they so blatantly treat us like whores? I kinda wish it had gone through though, just so we could partake in Dark Wraith's brilliant plan.
5. With a placenta-munching Tom Cruise getting ready to attack Manhattan for the premiere of mi3IIIii (or whatever) this week, the summer movie season has begun. The NYDN gives us this handy preview. The only thing you really need to know? 'Snakes on a Plane' opens August 18. That's right, Snakes on a MotherF'ing Plane. Deal with it.
ON THIS DAY: In 2004, Poland establishes May 2nd as Flag Day, reminding us all never to forget Poland again.
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