DAYS

DESPERATE WHITE HOUSE LIES
Emmy nominations were handed out this morning in Los Angeles to Desperate Housewives, Will & Grace and the like, all of which are surely deserving of their nods. But I think maybe Hollywood should've cast its eye East, toward Washington DC, where we've seen some performances in recent days plenty worthy of Emmy consideration. And the winners are...

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR
George W. Bush.
Considering he must feel as though his world is about to come crashing down on him, he appears pretty calm. He was even able to manage a chuckle during this morning's "reverse perp walk" with Karl Rove. Of course, we know he's able to manage a laugh just about anywhere, anytime. Oh, and for those of you interested, there was no man-handing during this morning's stroll with Karl.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTORS
The Right-Wing Media and Other Surrogates.
For a day, these players were mostly silent, but on Tuesday the GOP talking points we're distributed and the swarm began. The Coulters, O'Reillys and Rushes jumped into action, pundits suggested Bush give Karl a medal, and Republican congressmen called for the media to be shot. Chief among the GOP talking points is the cry that Rove is the victim of a vicious smear campaign by the radical Left. And who knows a smear campaign better than the bestest damn smearer there ever was, Karl Rove. (See Swift Boats, McCain's mental fitness and bastard child whisper campaign, false bugging claims, etc.)

OUTSTANDING PROSTHETIC MAKE-UP (no really, that's a category)
Karl Rove.
Come on, look at the guy. He could be one of the Klumps. The white Klump.

OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR
Bob Woodward.
If offering oneself up to serve jail-time in lieu of Judith Miller isn't worth some kind of award, I don't know what is. Of course, he's probably just trying to find away to get inside a women's prison, which is also admirable. I mean really, have you seen some of those movies? Meow!

OUTSTANDING DOUCHEBAG
Robert Novak.
Just because.

OUTSTANDING REALITY PROGRAM: As we are no longer living in a reality-based community, there will be no nominees for this category.

OUTSTANDING MUSIC: To whoever put this little remix together. Kudos. (audio)

Congratulations to all the winners. Enjoy your Emmys.

Don't worry Karl, you can collect your statuette when you get out.

I'm off to DC for the weekend. While there, I'll be sure to leave a big bag of flaming poo on Hot Karl's doorstep. After all, someone's gotta do it.

Flaming Turdblossom. heh.

MORE
LeftCoaster: Debunking Karl's Talking Points
Burka: Who is this Karl Rove you speak of?
WhiteHouse.org: Karl Rove Needs Your Support!
Norbiz: Karl Rove... Father, Mother, Occassional Lover.
NYO: The Great DC Plame-Out and Double Super Secret Background
Hunter: Republicans Support Treason
RoveHo: I Heart Karl Rove!