Thursday, June 09, 2005
As my eye is frequently trained toward the corridors of power/ineptitude that are the White House and Congress, I sometimes forget to pay attention to what’s happening in my own back yard. But when the Mayor of the proclaims that New York has “let down America,” it kind of snaps me back to attention ya know?
EXCUSE ME MR. MAYOR? I didn't notice too many tears among the citizenry when Hizzoner Michael Bloomberg's attempt to strong-arm the city into building his beloved West Side Stadium went down in spectacular Olympian flames earlier this week. Most New Yorkers didn't want the Olympics here in the first place. This is already the greatest city in the world, what do we have to prove? People don't come here from all over the world to see synchronized swimming, they come here because its New York. The Games would've been nothing but a hassle, not to mention a security nightmare. If anyone is responsible for the Olympic bid's failure, it's the mayor himself. By making a succesful bid contingent solely upon the approval of his pet Stadium project, Bloomberg effectively killed his own Olympic dream. Don't get me wrong, I think Bloomberg has done a good job on the whole, but what he had to say after his stadium deal fell apart really bothers me:
"Other American cities wanted to have the privilege of competing at the world level," Bloomberg said. "New York won because people had confidence that New York would be able to do things, and it turned out that we, unfortunately, are not able to do things."Um, actually we're able to do quite many things. For one, we stopped you from building your oh-so-coveted, wholly unecessary and massively expensive Stadium didn't we? Paris, the Games are yours. Have fun with all that hassle.
DESPERATE BRIDES + GIANT CAKE = BEDLAM If you're a tourist and just happened to be wandering through Times Square on Tuesday morning this week, you may have been shocked by the sight of two dozen brides, dressed to the 9's in their pure white wedding dresses, diving headfirst into a gigantic, two-story lemon cake. If you're a native, you probably wouldn't have noticed. No, these ladies weren't cake diving in hopes of impressing the Naked Cowboy, they were digging for a frosting-covered $50k during a publicity stunt for the reality show Bridezillas. Jaunita Collazo of Queens summed up the competitive nature of the stunt: "I believe in good sportsmanship, but once inflicted upon, I'll defend myself." Got that? Don't inflict upon Juanita lest you want a 4.36-carat marquise diamond ring shoved up your ass.
THE SCOURGE OF FREE NEWS The New York Times this jumped on the bandwagon and began distributing free "newspapers" to commuters throughout the 5 boroughs today. The Times' Marketplace is an effort to compete with Metro and amNewYork, which are not really newspapers so much as cleverly disguised advertising vehicles sprinkled with a few reprinted AP headlines. Just what we need, less insightful news. But New Yorkers seem to love the free papers: "I like it. It's convenient, it's small and you can read it on the subway on the way to work." (Unlike those unruly newspaper-sized newspapers that you can't read on the subway?) And: "It's easier to handle, easier to walk with." (Yes, I too often find myself tripping over my Daily News.) I gotta agree with Gawker on this one, 'break out the freaking quarters already.'
ONLY IN NEW YORK What do you get when you combine an open manhole, a 120-pound dog, a 72-year-old famed photographer and his 30-year-old wife? Pretty much just a bunch of shit.
AND FINALLY Have I mentioned that its really freaking hot in the Apple right now? Well it is.
Does anyone else think Bloomberg looks like a toad? http://www.northrup.org/photos/toad/toad-flash0036.htm
And hey, that's only two letters off from "tool". Go figure.
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