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Thursday, December 09, 2004

NO GELT FOR YOU!
Mr. Falafel, also known as conservative commentator Bill O'Reilly, drew the ire of the Anti-Defamation League yesterday, telling a Jewish caller on his radio show he should leave the US and "go to Israel" if the caller was offended by Christian attempts to convert him. Naturally, ADL chairman Abe Foxman immediately fired off a letter to the press scolding the FOX News anchor.

O'Reilly's suggestion of exile took place during a heated discussion with the caller, prompted by the philandering phone-sex predator and loofah fetishist's current holiday crusade to put a little more Christ back into Christmas. Apparently, O'Reilly is upset about what he believes is an organized effort by left-leaning, godless heathens to transform the country into a wholly secular nation by eliminating Jesus from the holiday season altogether. To fight back, O'Reilly plans to emphasize the religious nature of the holiday this year by reenacting the nativity in his own house, just as soon as he finishes his traditional Christmas Eve phone-sex session with one of his female staffers.

We also hear that O'Reilly has asked Santa Christ to stuff his stocking with a brand new vibrator this year.

Here's to hoping all your dreams come true Bill. Happy Hanukkah.

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Let's just call it a Faloofah, ok?

Previously on DAYS
10.14.04: Who's Looking Out For Your Vibrator?

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