DAYS

BYE, BYE BERNIE

Damn, I didn't even have time to rip this guy a new one. I was going to wait for his confirmation hearings to begin before I detailed all the reasons I didn't think this guy was fit for the post, but former NYPD chief and Bush Homeland Security Director nominee Bernard Kerik called it quits on Friday night. Not included among the many reasons I had planned to detail was the one reason given for Bernie's bow out: a nanny problem. Yeah sure, that's why he's not taking the post, his nanny. And if you believe that, I've got some Iraqi WMDs to sell you. I don't suppose Bernie's sudden reversal has anything to do with... oh, let's start a list:

• His $6 million windfall from selling his stock in Taser International, a client of security consultant firm Giuliani Partners (gee, I wonder how he got that job?) and a prospective client of the Department of Homeland Security.
• His alleged ties to the mob.
• Cutting short his six-month assignment to train Iraqi police forces in Baghdad by three months. And boy did that work out well.
• His involvement in a New York State Corrections Department scandal. Kerik's appointee to head Rikers Island was sent to prison for embezzling money from a charity Kerik sat on the board of. That same appointee is also in hot water for pressuring Rikers employees to work on Republican political campaigns. (Bush does reward loyalty to the party, that's for sure)
• Tapping NYPD personnel to research the murder of his prostitute mother in Ohio for his autobiography, "The Lost Son," (stay tuned for the movie!).
• That book, by the way, was published by none other than Regan Books, whose chairman, Judith Regan, has been romantically linked to Kerik. Rumors continue to swirl that Kerik once sent NYPD cops on a wild goose chase through New York and New Jersey to retrieve the publishing executives lost cell phone.
• His infidelity. Two affairs at the same time? Wow! Now that's moral values!
• An arrest warrant issued for Kerik in 1998 resulting from unpaid bills.
• His ties to the Saudi royal family. While employed as a bodyguard, Kerik abused his power to delve into the personal lives of women his boss was linked with romantically.

But yeah, I'm sure it was all about the nanny. Sheesh. Seriously, there's no better example of how poor the judgment in the Bush White House is than Bernie's appointment. These were not deep, dark secrets, these skeletons were well known within the New York law enforcement and journalistic communities. It's not like the Bush team had to dig very hard to find this stuff out. But still, despite the trail of scandal that followed the guy, Bush must've thought Bernie was a real kick-ass guy to have in the White House with him. I can hear it now: "He looks like a Soprano! He was practically Serpico! He knows judo! His mother was a whore! Hire this frickin' guy!!" Yep, nice pick Dubya.

Congress better vet the shit out these other nominees... yeah, right, who am I kidding??

MORE
Newsday's Ellis Henican's early warning. And his "Told You So" column
NYDN: Bernie Bows Out
Newsweek: Why Did Bernie Bow Out? and A Tough Guy Tumbles
Village Voice: Saint Bernard

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