DAYS

THE PRESIDENT'S BULGE
A presidential candidate's bulge hasn't received this much attention since Al Gore graced the cover of Rolling Stone. I wasn't going to bother reporting this when rumors first began to surface on the Internets last week about what the president was hiding under his jacket at the first debate. It just seemed like another goofy, blog-driven rumor, something for Wonkette to crack wise at and left-wing fanatics to drool over. But then the bulge made an encore appearance at Friday night's contest in St. Louis, and you know what they say: While one bulge only makes an absurd rumor, two bulges makes a tantalizing rumor... (and three bulges means you must be watching Carmen Electra's new reality show, "Manhunt," but that's a whole other topic.)

The rumors have become so intense that the Bush team actually had to respond to questions in an attempt to refute the wacky conspiracy theory. Marvel at the power of the blogosphere! Yesterday, the Seattle Times spoke with "master tailor" Frank Shattuck who questioned that summation:

"There's definitely something there, in between the shoulder blades. I can't say what it is, but it's not hidden very well. They should have come to me. I can hide a pistol under the breast."

I guess John Kerry, Jim Lehrer, Charles Gibson and that woman who asked the question about Bush's mistakes should all be relieved the president doesn't get his suits tailored by Mr. Shattuck.

You can get all your bulge conspiracy theories at IsBushWired.com. Enjoy.

UPDATE: John Edwards, on Leno last night, suggested Kerry pat Bush down before tonight's debate. He also mocked W's cheerleader past... rah! rah! siss, boom, bah!

MORE Bulge Links:
Another Bulge Blog
Bulge Photos Galore
Bulge Reaches Borneo!
Vote in CNN's Poll!
As weird as it gets: Fictitious newspapers, fake operatives, Rove, and drive-by shootings.