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Thursday, October 21, 2004

DEAR LIMEY ASSHOLES
Last week, The Guardian, a left-leaning newspaper in the UK, launched "Operation Clark County," a letter-writing campaign designed to give Brits a chance to participate in the US presidential election. The logic was simple: Since the policies of the United States have such a massive effect on the rest of the world, why shouldn't the world have a say? The Guardian didn't tell readers what to write or what candidate to support, they simply supplied the tools for readers to send letters to voters in Clark County, Ohio, at the heart of one of the most crucial swing states. Seems like an innocent enough effort, right? Wrong. US voters responded en masse to the Guardian's effort, and they didn't respond kindly. Here now, a sampling of the US response to Operation Clark County:

Have you not noticed that Americans don't give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from some arrogant Brit telling us why to NOT vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies ... I don't give a rat's ass if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don't. If you want to have a meaningful election in your crappy little island full of shitty food and yellow teeth, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin, dipshit. Oh, yeah - and brush your goddamned teeth, you filthy animals.
- Wading River, NY

Consider this: stay out of American electoral politics. Unless you would like a company of US Navy Seals - Republican to a man - to descend upon the offices of the Guardian, bag the lot of you, and transport you to Guantanamo Bay, where you can share quarters with some lonely Taliban shepherd boys.
- United States

Real Americans aren't interested in your pansy-ass, tea-sipping opinions. If you want to save the world, begin with your own worthless corner of it.
- Texas

Please be advised that I have forwarded this to the CIA and FBI.
- United States

KEEP YOUR FUCKIN' LIMEY HANDS OFF OUR ELECTION. HEY, SHITHEADS, REMEMBER THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR? REMEMBER THE WAR OF 1812? WE DIDN'T WANT YOU, OR YOUR POLITICS HERE, THAT'S WHY WE KICKED YOUR ASSES OUT. FOR THE 47% OF YOU WHO DON'T WANT PRESIDENT BUSH, I SAY THIS ... TOUGH SHIT! PROUD AMERICAN VOTING FOR BUSH!
- United States
Boy, it's a good thing Bush backers don't denigrate our allies the way John Kerry does!

Read all the responses here.
Read a slightly more articulate response here.

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