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Thursday, September 16, 2004

RHETORIC ILLUSTRATED
Last week, in Moulton, Alabama, Lynne Gobbell was fired. Lynne Gobbell worked 50 to 60 hours a week at Enviromate, a cellulose insulation company (don't ask, I don't know either). Lynne Gobbell was a good worker. Lynne Gobbell drives a Chevy Lumina. On that Chevy Lumina, a fine American automobile, Lynne Gobbell proudly displays a "Kerry/Edwards 2004" bumper sticker. And this is why Lynne Gobbell was fired. Her boss, Phil Geddes (aka: the douchebag) told her to remove the sticker. When Lynne Gobbell didn't, she was told she "could either work for him [Geddes] or John Kerry." This week, John Kerry hired her to work on his campaign.

So you see, "George Bush = Job Lost", while "John Kerry = Job Gained". Seems pretty simple to me. Oh, and I really hope I never end up working in Moulton, Alabama... I have a feeling the locals wouldn't take to kindly to my "George W. Bush is a Punk-Ass Chump" sticker.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I've been wondering for a while now about these folks, the ones most refer to as "the Undecideds." Thankfully, funnyman Larry David explored this very subject in a New York Times Op-Ed today.

The truth is, Undecideds, you're getting on our nerves. We Decideds hate all the attention you're getting and that you're jerking us around. Anyone who can't make up his or her mind at this point in the campaign should forget about the election entirely, buy a pint of ice cream and get into bed.
Enjoy the rest here.

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