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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

No, no, not THAT feeling! Get your mind out of the gutter... sheesh. No, the feeling I'm talking about is the one I got while watching Bill Clinton steal the show once again last night.  Whether you believe in his policies or not, whether you think he's a big fat liar or not, you have to give the guy credit for being a smooth speaker. His speech last night to the DNC forced me to remember what it was like to have a well-spoken, articulate and sensible person leading the country. There is such a stark difference between our 42nd president and our 43rd, namely literacy. Here's the full text of Clinton's speech.

The Kerry campaign asked speakers at the convention not to go negative, not to get consumed by Bush Bashing. Jimmy Carter apparently didn't get the memo. Surprisingly, Carter came out swinging and leveled the sharpest criticism of the night against the Bush regime, and in particular, its foreign policy. Not bad for a failed peanut farmer. 

I was unable to catch Gore's speech unfortunately, but I still feel like I participated because while the former veep was speaking, I was watching the movie Love Story at HBO's outdoor summer film series at Bryant Park. If you'll remember, Love Story is the 70's Cambridge-set sapfest starring Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neal (that 'goddam preppie') incorrectly rumored to be modeled on Al and Tipper. The movie brought the phrase, "Love means never having to say your sorry" into the national lexicon, which I believe was Clinton's mantra during the later years of his presidency.

For a more thorough and informative recap of last night's festivities, without a single mention of Love Story, see this piece from The Nation's David Corn.

The GOP has set up a "War Room" a few blocks from the Fleet Center to respond to information and allegations communicated by Democrats inside the hall. With a slick operation such as this, you'd think the Republicans would spend their energy dissecting policy statements from Democratic speakers and refuting any charges leveled against their man. But instead, the best the 'War Room' could could come up with was to splash silly pictures of their opponent dressed up in some sort of spacesuit while on the campaign trail yesterday. Immediately, the Republicans began comparing the shots to the infamous and laughable photos of Michael Dukakis in tank during the '88 campaign against the elder Bush. Frankly, we think Kerry looks much more like Mike Teevee, the TV-obsessed kid from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, than Dukakis - check out the similarities!

But seriously, if you're not going to vote for someone simply because he looks kinda goofy, then don't vote at all. And don't forget, it was the Republicans who played dress-up first by putting Bush in that flight suit to proclaim 'Mission Accomplished' about, oh, nearly 800 American deaths ago. Talk about embarrassing! 

Republicans other line of attack yesterday? That Kerry's wife, Teresa Heinz-Kerry, is some sort of angry, foreign bitch for telling a reporter to "Shove It." You know them Republicans, they just hate it when you girls get all uppity. Don't you know you're just supposed to stand there smiling and not say much, Teresa? What are you, from another country or something? She gets her chance to tell the whole country to "Shove It" tonight, or maybe she'll just tell Dick Cheney to go fuck himself.

Also, the New York Post (hahahaha) managed to further the unbelievable "Kerry and Edwards are homos!" attack line by splashing the following headline across its first page of Convention coverage this morning: "Dems Love-in: Shhhhh! Keep it in the Closet" accompanied by a photo of Kerry and Edwards beaming at one another. The story was about how DNC organizers have urged speakers to stay mum about the marriage debate, but the intended implication is clear. Is this what the GOP wants to turn this election into, a series of irrelevant personal jabs? Yes, because they would get themselves into all kinds of trouble if they were forced into talking about the actual issues.

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