Friday, June 04, 2004
SLAM DUNK!
No, no, no... we said fire RUMSFELD, not Tenet!
I can't say Tenet's resignation was much of a surprise. Tenet said yesterday that he is resigning for "personal reasons". Uh yeah, like being personally responsibile for two of the most massive intelligence failures our nation has ever seen, 9/11 and Iraq's missing WMDs. As Jon Stewart expressed a few weeks back, "How does this guy (Tenet) still have a job? I've been fired for being late to work!"
Somewhat related, Dave Pell at Electablog had an interesting observation a few weeks ago about the CIA's unique position and ability to create discomfort for the once untouchable Bush administration. Could Tenet's "resignation" be a result of all this infighting? Makes sense, no?
AT $129k, THERE BETTER BE SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM!
Everyone knows New York is an expensive city, but this is ridiculous. Two weeks ago, insurance executive Mitchell Blaser stumbled out of the infamous Manhattan strip club Scores with a credit card receipt totalling $28,000. He later filed a lawsuit against the club claming there was no way he could've spent that much. In response, Scores spokesman Lonnie Hanover appropriately said, "If you want to party like a [movie star] you can, but it is going to cost you." According to the Daily News, Hanover said Blaser charged $7,000 worth of Diamond Dollars - the club's currency - and he doled them out like candy for $20 lap dances. "At $7,000, he had a dozen girls hanging on to his words for several hours." At least Blaser didn't head to Le Parker Meridien for an omelette, otherwise his tab for the night would've hit $29,000.
This week however, Blaser's tab was bested - in a BIG way - by Tauhidul Chaudhury, husband of a Bangladeshi diplomat. Chaudhury racked up an astounding bill of $129,626. Chaudhury too has filed a lawsuit against the club, but his excuse is rather flimsy: He was too drunk to remember signing the credit card bill. I have a feeling that excuse won't fly in a court of law. But Mr. Chaudhury, you defnitely take the pasties for being Strip Club Boob Numero Uno, congratulations. How do you say Dumbass in Bangladeshi?
There are lessons aplenty to be learned from these stories, but the most important in my opinion is to be sure not to head to the club on the same night these guys go out to party. I know for a fact that the $35.16 in my bank account isn't going to lure any of "the talent" away from the Bangladeshi with the $100,000 bill clutched between his teeth.
BRING IT... yawn.
The Kerry campaign thus far has been quite the snoozefest, no one can argue that. His speeches haven't necessarily ignited much excitement. Luckily for Kerry, the hatred for the White House's current occupant is so great across much of the country he may not have to be an engaging, exciting campaigner - he just needs to keep breathing. Newsweek has dubbed this the Sock Puppet Strategy, after Seattle resident David Haldeman said at a Kerry rally last week, "my dislike of George Bush overrides everything at this point. You can put a sock puppet next to Bush and I would vote for it."
Because of this, Kerry hasn't done much to stoke the fires - he hasn't needed to, the fires are already stoked. What this means unfortunately is that his campaign is an absolute bore to watch. The most exciting thing to focus on at this point is speculation about whom Kerry will select as a running mate. McSweeney's recently compiled a hilarious list of the Pros and Cons for 20 potentinal VP candidates. A few highlights:
No, no, no... we said fire RUMSFELD, not Tenet!
I can't say Tenet's resignation was much of a surprise. Tenet said yesterday that he is resigning for "personal reasons". Uh yeah, like being personally responsibile for two of the most massive intelligence failures our nation has ever seen, 9/11 and Iraq's missing WMDs. As Jon Stewart expressed a few weeks back, "How does this guy (Tenet) still have a job? I've been fired for being late to work!"
Somewhat related, Dave Pell at Electablog had an interesting observation a few weeks ago about the CIA's unique position and ability to create discomfort for the once untouchable Bush administration. Could Tenet's "resignation" be a result of all this infighting? Makes sense, no?
AT $129k, THERE BETTER BE SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM!
Everyone knows New York is an expensive city, but this is ridiculous. Two weeks ago, insurance executive Mitchell Blaser stumbled out of the infamous Manhattan strip club Scores with a credit card receipt totalling $28,000. He later filed a lawsuit against the club claming there was no way he could've spent that much. In response, Scores spokesman Lonnie Hanover appropriately said, "If you want to party like a [movie star] you can, but it is going to cost you." According to the Daily News, Hanover said Blaser charged $7,000 worth of Diamond Dollars - the club's currency - and he doled them out like candy for $20 lap dances. "At $7,000, he had a dozen girls hanging on to his words for several hours." At least Blaser didn't head to Le Parker Meridien for an omelette, otherwise his tab for the night would've hit $29,000.
This week however, Blaser's tab was bested - in a BIG way - by Tauhidul Chaudhury, husband of a Bangladeshi diplomat. Chaudhury racked up an astounding bill of $129,626. Chaudhury too has filed a lawsuit against the club, but his excuse is rather flimsy: He was too drunk to remember signing the credit card bill. I have a feeling that excuse won't fly in a court of law. But Mr. Chaudhury, you defnitely take the pasties for being Strip Club Boob Numero Uno, congratulations. How do you say Dumbass in Bangladeshi?
There are lessons aplenty to be learned from these stories, but the most important in my opinion is to be sure not to head to the club on the same night these guys go out to party. I know for a fact that the $35.16 in my bank account isn't going to lure any of "the talent" away from the Bangladeshi with the $100,000 bill clutched between his teeth.
BRING IT... yawn.
The Kerry campaign thus far has been quite the snoozefest, no one can argue that. His speeches haven't necessarily ignited much excitement. Luckily for Kerry, the hatred for the White House's current occupant is so great across much of the country he may not have to be an engaging, exciting campaigner - he just needs to keep breathing. Newsweek has dubbed this the Sock Puppet Strategy, after Seattle resident David Haldeman said at a Kerry rally last week, "my dislike of George Bush overrides everything at this point. You can put a sock puppet next to Bush and I would vote for it."
Because of this, Kerry hasn't done much to stoke the fires - he hasn't needed to, the fires are already stoked. What this means unfortunately is that his campaign is an absolute bore to watch. The most exciting thing to focus on at this point is speculation about whom Kerry will select as a running mate. McSweeney's recently compiled a hilarious list of the Pros and Cons for 20 potentinal VP candidates. A few highlights:
4. Bill Clinton, former President
Pro: Oh man, that would be awesome—could you imagine? He'd be all like Yeah, I'm back, so suck on this, y'all and everyone would be all No way and he'd be all Way
Con: None
17. Ashton Kutcher, actor, CaliforniaFor the full list, go here.
Pro: Could "punk" Bush campaign with crazy pranks, make them think their president plane got stoled, and then he could yell "Punk'd!" and it would be funny
Con: Sucks
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