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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

NOT-SO-FULL HOUSE
Sad news out of Hollywood this morning as one-half of the $300 million Olsen Twins has apparently checked herself into a clinic to treat an eating disorder. Our hearts go out to Mary-Kate, as does an offer to take her and her sister (aka, the 'fat one') out to dinner every night once she checks out, just to make sure she's eating regularly. At least the media is taking the illness seriously and treating it with respect. Entertainment Tonight's website only used an exclamation point twice in it's report on the news, ("Watch ET for more on her condition!!"). Glad to see they're tamping down their excitement a bit. I do think that today's news merits a demotion for Mary-Kate: The duo should now be referred to as Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen. I mean, the less troubled teen twin deserves some kind of a reward for eating lunch once in a while, doesn't she? This is your chance Ashley, take it!

A VAST, RIGHT-WING NIGHTMARE
The Right must be going nuts. After a week-long Reaganthon Orgy (see previous entry), the Left has struck back with a week of Bubba Love culminating with yesterday's book-signing here in Manhattan. Clinton's publicity junket began at the White House last week when he and Hillary's portraits were unveiled at the White House, she standing proudly in her trademark pantsuit, he prone on the couch with a cheeseburger, a cigar and a copy of Leaves of Grass tucked under his arm. In the week since, the former president's Teflon mug has been splashed across the covers of every major news magazine and newspaper, and he's made appearances on every major news and talk show, including yesterday's sit-down with Oprah. You'd think the 937 page tome would satiate just about everyone's appetite, but many are already complaining that the book lacks salacious details of the former President's promiscuous peccadilloes with our beloved Portly Pepperpot. But didn't we already get our presidential porn fix in the guise of the Starr Report?

After the weeklong Clinton lovefest, the Right now has to deal with Michael Moore's unflattering and very public look at the Bush administration. While I'm excited to see Fahrenheit 9/11, I do fear that Michael Moore's caustic, humiliating approach will not only further galvanize the Right but will also turn off some fence-sitting voters rather than swing them toward Kerry. I agree with just about everything Michael Moore stands for, and I'm thrilled that someone is finally shining the light on many of the unbelievable actions and policies of this president and his administration, but sometimes his propagandistic approach can blow up in all our faces. While entertaining, his stunts can sometimes seem childish and petty, provide an easy target for the Right, and lend credence to the 'Loony Left' argument. Opponents of the film are already claiming that Moore is simply distorting the truth and twisting facts to fit his own biases; these criticisms of course coming from such beacons of unbiased commentary as Bill O'Reilly and Joe Scarborough. All concern and controversy aside, the trailer does look awesome. The Bushies should be nervous, and that makes me happy.

GOSSIP PAGES GOSSIP
Have the tabloids taking it too far when there gossip pages gossip about other gossip rags gossip pages? That's what's been happening the last few days here in New York as the Daily News' gossip column, Lowdown, dished some dirt on the Rupert Murdoch-owned New York Post's Page Six reporter Ian Spiegelman which ultimately got him fired. The subject of the gossip really doesn't matter, it's the reactions of the parties involved that's really entertaining, but the back-story is this: According to an article appearing in next week's New York Press penned by Douglas Dechert, a 47-year-old literary agent, Spiegelman made a play for Dechert's 19-year-old girlfriend and author of "Bad Girl: Confessions of a Teenage Delinquent," Abigail Vona. Dechert goes off on Spiegelman, referring to him as an "amorously intentioned midget". In response, Spiegelman fired off an angry e-mail to Dechert:

"If I wanted to take your girl out, I would," Spiegelman wrote in his profanity-laced message. "You have nothing I can't take away from you, you non-man. Doug, you little tiny fairy ... I will break your back over my knee in the press and I will push your face inside-out in private or public."
The e-mail got Spiegelman promptly canned from the right-leaning tabloid, to which he responded thusly:

"I'm not going to miss being associated with the Post's parent company," Spiegelman said. "It's been a hard year to work for people who want to reelect somebody who talks to Jesus on a regular basis."
Amen Ian. We hear Michael Moore is looking for a personal assistant if you're interested.


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