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Thursday, June 24, 2004

Fans of Irish Hollywood heartthrob Colin Farrell are crying in their Guiness today after learning that the reported full frontal nudity scene showing off the hunky leprechaun's 'Lucky Charm' has been cut from the forthcoming drama, "A Home at the End of the World." Farrell's publicist must be even better than his character in "Phone Booth" because initial reports claimed the scene had been cut because the size and girth of Sir Colin's schlong shocked test audiences into distraction and over-excitement, taking away from the story. Subsequent reports have toned down initial claims of Colin's gargantuan manhood, some even suggesting that the offending member was cleverly CGIed after Farrell was unhappy with the real deal's appearance. Who knows what the truth is, and who really cares - all I know is that I want Colin's publicist working for me! You all shoulda seen the original cut of this blog - it was massive!

Vice President Dick Cheney offered up a preview of the tactics he'll use when he faces off with whomever John Kerry's VP selection is (John Edwards) when he told Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT) to "go fu*k himself" on the floor of the Senate today. The heated exchange between the two began with a "hello" from Leahy, continued with a "lay off my Halliburton connections" retort from Cheney, a "quit calling me a bad Catholic" rebut from Leahy, and ultimately ended with the F-Bomb from our distinguished Vice Potty-Mouth. Leahy told CNN after the exchange that while he was surprised to hear such language, he suspects the Vice President was simply "having a bad day." That's an understatement; "having a bad term" is more like it. Careful Pat, we all know Cheney is probably one more outburst away from popping another artery, and while I'm not sure of the succession lines, I think that may put Rumsfeld into the VP slot and you know what that means: Everyone who disagrees with the administration's views would be required to strip and jump into a big 'ol pile of naked man flesh.

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