DAYS

LIVING XL

Super Bowl XL. For real.

A celebration 30 years in the making.



Way to go Seattle. You deserve it.



Now go beat 'dem Steelers.

MORE
HawkNewsDaily
Seattle Times: Full Coverage
Deadspin: Quarter x Quarter
Super Bowl XL: Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Seattle Seahawks

COME ON SEATTLE
For a couple of weeks in November the Carolina Panthers were my favorite team in the league. But then they went and fired these two sweet, young girls.

And so now, Seattle must beat the Carolina Panthers. The lesbian cheerleader-hating Carolina Panthers.

GO SEAHAWKS. It's Time.



MORE
HawkNewsDaily
Official: Seahawks Team Site
Seattle Times: Seahawks Coverage
Seattle Times: 12th Man takes over Seattle
Deadspin: The whole system is out of order!
Last Week: Tony Kornheiser takes a beating.

SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT
Yeah, thumbs up to you too sir. Those bars suit you nice.

Don't drop the soap.

Wanna bet someone got fired for this? Wtf happened Karl?

MORE
CRS Report: Breakin' the Law
Dear Leader: I am not a dick tater.
Kos: Conservatives against Illegal Spying.
Alterman: Where is the accountability?
Zogby Poll: In support of impeachment.
ThinkProgress: When in doubt, catapult the propaganda.

WHO ASKED YA?
The out-of-nowhere headline of the day:
Bush Rules Out Senate Run for First Lady

Ok, first off, who ever suggested she should run in the first place? I mean, don't we already have enough vapid, banal automatons in Congress already? And can we really let a woman who's judgment allows this photo to be taken represent us?

And your little dogs too.

Well, she would run from Texas, so maybe the answer to that question is yes.

Apparently, the query came up at another of W's 'spontaneous' town hall forums yesterday, this one taking place in Virginia at JK Moving & Storage. Later this month, he plans to deliver his State-of-the-Union address from a Ryder Truck depot in Paducah, Kentucky.

W. gets ready to rumble.

Here's what Bush had to say in response to the question about the First Stepford's interest in running for office:

"She's not interested in running for office. She's interested in literacy."

Which is why, after his term is up, she's going to devote all of her time to teaching her husband how to read.

Idiot.

DR. ROSS DELIVERS A DOSE
I'm not much for awards shows. I watch them, usually to poke fun, but I would rarely blog about them. This year's Golden Globes however provided an exception to that rule, thanks in large part to George Clooney. Winner of the night's first award, Supporting Actor, for his role in Syriana, a searing look at big oil, big money and politics. And who did Clooney thank first?

"I want to thank Jack Abramoff, you know, just because-I -- I'm the first one out, so lets get this thing rolling. I don't know why. Who would name their kid Jack with the last words "off" at the end of your last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up."

Reliable as always, Crooks & Liars has the video. As C&L aptly points out, Clooney's minor mention should prove to expand the awareness of Abramoff's dirty dealings beyond the realm of political junkiedom, which is a good thing. And as much as I appreciate a very public dig at a dirty Republican, and anything that serves to raise the hackles of the extreme right nutjobs, I can't say it was the best part of the evening. That honor goes to...

This:This:And These:

Nice globes Scarlett.

MORE
H'wood Rag: The Red Carpet
Egotastic: Scarlett Gets Groped (that Mizrahi is one lucky bastard)
Blue Report: Surprise! Christian fundamentalists didn't like the Globes.

SLAP SOME SKINS
While DAYS is most certainly a political blog, we sometimes veer off into other topics. This is one of those times. This post does however mention a certain Bush and a certain Dick in a less-than-favorable way, so we’re not veering too far.

Regular readers know that I live in Brooklyn. They also know that I love the borough with all my heart. That said, my first and only true urban love affair is with the city I grew up in, Seattle.



I spent my formative years there. I have many friends and family there. And I think it’s one of the most beautiful places on earth. I’m also steadfastly loyal to the city’s sport franchises. Even after eight years here in Gotham, my home-team loyalties haven’t waned one iota. I love the Mariners. I love the Sonics. And I love the Seahawks, which brings us to this weekend.

Tomorrow afternoon the NFC’s best team, the Seattle Seahawks, will welcome the Washington Redskins to the loudest stadium in the NFL for a divisional playoff game. The winner will be one step closer to the Super Bowl. Both cities are excited for the game. Earlier this week, the Washington Post’s Tony Kornheiser amped up the rhetoric by penning this snide article blasting the Emerald City:

What's Seattle got going for it anyway? It rains all the time there. Stay more than three days and mold begins to form on your feet. Either that, or Mount St. Helens spews all over you. Which, I concede, may be better than Sean Taylor doing it.

“Excuse me, Tony, but Seattle is the home of Starbucks and Microsoft.”

That's swell. Very manly item, a venti caramel macchiato. And how terrifying can anything with "soft" in its name be? Don't even talk to me about "Pearl Jam."

Ouch. Pretty painful Tony. Thank god you didn’t really go for the jugular and make fun of our Needle. I don’t think we could've taken that.

Since you fired the first shot Tony, I feel it’s my duty to defend my fair city and blast yours in the process, which really isn’t that hard to do. To wit:

1. The weather? You're attacking our weather? Well let me just say this: DC is a goddam miserable swamp and perhaps the most disgusting place in the country during the summer months. Seriously, give me a refreshing downpour over that stifling, suffocating, sticky heat any day. No wonder everybody bolts in June.
2. The first travel tip in Fodor's DC? "Duck!"
3. DC has elected a known crack addict to public office. Three fucking times.
4. Seattle has been consistently ranked as one of the “fittest” cities in the country. DC is probably home to more fat, white guys than any other city on the planet.
5. Seattle is also often cited as the country’s “most literate” city. The jury is still out over whether or not your most (in)famous resident even knows how to read.
6. I notice you threw Pearl Jam into your cute little attack so let’s talk music for a minute. You’re right to recognize that Seattle gave birth to one of the most memorable rock revolutions to occur in the past 3 decades, but please remember that Seattle also contributed such luminary artists as Jimi Hendrix, Ray Charles and Quincy Jones. What has DC offered up? John Philip Sousa? Peaches & Herb? Peter fucking Tork? He wasn’t even the third-favorite Monkee. Even Nesmith was more popular than him.
7. How about cuisine? In the customary wager between mayors, Seattle has offered up a bounty of fresh salmon from the legendary Pike Place Market. Your city? Four chili dogs from Ben's Chili Bowl. Processed lips and assholes smothered in beans and ground chuck? Nice.
8. Bush and Cheney don't live in our city.
9. Redskins players are a class act... that is, if the definition of “class act” is 'players who hock loogies into their opponent's faces'. Stay classy Redskins.
10. Oh, and your quarterback? He's from Seattle, so suck it you nit.

Man, I didn’t even get to the corruption carnival that is your city, nor did I mention the blatantly racist nickname of your team. But the Seattle Times’ Steve Kelley did in his retort, so we’re all good. Kelley also chimes in with this:

Last week at Tampa Bay, Washington's offense was as nonexistent as Iraq's WMDs. And it was reported on some blogs Thursday that Joe Gibbs received a call from the President.

"Gibbsy," Bush said, "you're doin' a heck of a job."

The kiss of death.

Go Seahawks. And bite me Tony Kornheiser.

(click to enlarge)

MORE
Seattle Times: Seahawks Coverage
AP: Seahawks Quest A Civic Duty
Seattlest: Seahawks Round-up
Deadspin: The Clinton Portis Files
Official: Seahawks Team Site

[return to DAYS home]

BUSH UNPLUGGED
Recognizing the rousing success of last year's Social Security Road Show, President Bush embarked on another tour yesterday, this time to promote his Iraq strategy... wait, hold on, that's not right. Let's try this again.

Ahem: Completely ignoring the utter failure of last year's Social Security Road Show, President Bush embarked on another tour yesterday, this time to promote his Iraq War, erm, strategy.

The event in Louisville, was billed as a no-holds-barred town hall in which regular Joes and Janes from the audience would be allowed to ask unscripted questions of the president. No pre-screened questions, just genuine queries from an audience of average American citizens. Of course, each audience member was probably forced to sign a 'loyalty oath' before entering the hall. Probably had to give to the Scooter Libby Defense Fund too. As Keith Olbermann pointed out, if you pre-screen the audience, you don't need to pre-screen the questions. Genius!

'Sir, why is it that you are the best president ever?'

But don't let me jump to conclusions, you be the judge. Here's a quick sampling of the 'tough, unscripted' questions asked of President Talking Point at yesterday's Louisville Love-in.

Q: I'd like to ask, recently in the media, you've been catching a lot of flak about that National Security Agency thing. There's people in our states and there's people that are in D.C. that will take and jeopardize what I feel is our national security and our troops' safety today for partisan advantage, for political advantage. They're starting an investigation in the Justice Department about the -- looking into this, where these leaks came from. Is the Justice Department going to follow through and, if necessary, go after the media to take and get the answers and to shut these leaks up?

Yes, that's exactly the problem with a president who ignores law and spies on his own citizens illegally and en masse: The media reporting on it. Surely, if everyone would just shut the fuck up about it, everything would be ok. And really, why beat around the shrub in your question sir? Just say "there's DEMOCRATS that are in D.C. that will take and jeopardize our troops safety." Cuz 'dem evil Democrats? They hate 'dem some troops.

Q: Mr. President, we hear a common expert opinion all the time that the terrorists are going to attack us -- it's not a question of whether, it's a question of when. And, yes, that might happen. But the facts are that since 9/11 we haven't had any, so thank you. (Applause.)

Um, nice question. More like praise, but, you know, why quibble on particulars? By the way, I've been in my apartment for over four years and I have yet to have a fire here. Which I think makes me the best damn fire prevention specialist there ever was!

Q: President Bush, I've been an educator in five states for 36 years. Right up there with national security I think is the issue of education of every single person in the United States. It's of crucial importance to our future. And given the challenges in the world, the fact that we have to keep this nation secure in the future, and that we have to deal with all sorts of threats -- many of which we don't know -- what do you think we need to do better in education to provide a well educated citizenry that will meet those challenges and keep us secure?

Uh, Mr. President, how can I tie the one thing people, for some reason, still seem to believe you're good at, security, to your failed education initiative?

Q: How is it that the people of Iraq when polled have more hope about their future than the rest of the -- than the rest of the world has, with regard to what we're doing in Iraq?

Because the ones that have been polled are the ones that haven't been blown up, that's how.

Q (from a 7-year-old boy): How can people help on the war on terror?
THE PRESIDENT: One way people can help as we're coming down the pike in the 2006 elections, is remember the effect that rhetoric can have on our troops in harm's way, and the effect that rhetoric can have in emboldening or weakening an enemy.

Hey, you know what really harms the troops? Supplying them with third-rate body armor and sending them into war without a plan does you son of a bitch.


Meet the amazing Talking Point Robo-President! Just feed him a question and watch him go!
(Robo-FirstLady approaches from the left. Batteries required.)

MORE
C&L: Praise the Leader
Shake's Sis: Blah. Blah. Blah.
Bush: 'I'm not making this up' (VV)
WTFisitnow?: 'Go ahead. See if I care.'
The Spud: Don't even go there Malkin. (sis)

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY'S WATCHING ME...

ALITO A-GO-GO
So here we are, in week two of 2006, and what's top-of-mind among the hoi poloi? Scarlett's 'Lady Bazzers'? Britney and Kevin's rocky relationship? Brangelina?? No, no, none of that silliness, this country isn't nearly that shallow. Nope, all anyone can talk about is a certain conservative judge from New Jersey. A judge who I think looks a little like Danny DeVito in high heels. Not that I've ever seen Mr. DeVito in high heels, I'm just saying.

I think I'll make Rieger work a double tonight.

Alright, so maybe people aren't more interested in Supreme Court nominees than they are Scarlett's ta-tas. That's totally understandble. But make no mistake, the sure-to-be-scintillating SCOTUS confirmation hearings for Judge Samuel Alito did begin yesterday. And after the religious nutbags finished oiling down the Senate chamber seats with holy juices (no shit), Mr. Alito opened with the following:

"But this was back in the late 1960s and early 1970s. It was a time of turmoil at colleges and universities. And I saw some very smart people and very privileged people behaving irresponsibly. And I couldn't help making a contrast between some of the worst of what I saw on the campus and the good sense and the decency of the people back in my own community."

Privileged people behaving irresponsibly on college campuses in the late 60s? He's couldn't possibly be talking about this, could he?

“A woman holds a knife and pretends to slash the throat of another person lying down before them, and there's screaming and yelling at the neophytes. There is a devil, a Don Quixote and a Pope who has one foot sheathed in a white monogrammed slipper resting on a stone skull. The initiates are led into the room one at a time. And once an initiate is inside, the Bonesmen shriek at him. Finally, the Bonesman is shoved to his knees in front of Don Quixote as the shrieking crowd falls silent. And Don Quixote lifts his sword and taps the Bonesman on his left shoulder and says, ‘By order of our order, I dub thee knight of Euloga.’"

Because if that's the type of behavior Alito is referring too, he really out to think about whether he wants to work with the guy who nominated him.


'So, uh, do you want to wear the Quixote costume or what?'

MORE
Shakes: Lubing Up Alito
Digby: Freeping the Court
Milbank: Bipartisan Agreement
ReddHead is live-blogging the heck out of the hearings.

IT'S LIKE A WHOLE NEW YEAR OR SOMETHING
My god, what is going on?? Seriously, I step away for a few weeks and all hell breaks loose. Hard-scrabble cowboys get all gayed up, Tom Delay is apparently some sort of quitter, the Governator has herpes of the lip or something, Jessica & Nick broke up (no way!), the fedora made a comeback, Congress is apparently corrupt (double no way!!), tarty political blogger Wonkette up and left the blogsphere, and Pat Robertson... well, he's still just as crazy as ever. I guess we can thank his angry, vengeful God for at least that little bit of consistency.

I suppose the lesson learned here is that the world keeps spinning on its downward spiral even when we choose to ignore it by submerging ourselves in a giant tub of extra-potent egg nog for three weeks... and don't even begin trying to tell me y'all didn't spend your break in the exact same nogolicious way. Goddam lushes.



Welcome to 2006 everyone. My resolution? Blog drunk less. What's yours?